Winter's Blossom: The Seasons of Arthur

Chapter 36

            'I'm not sure if that counts as sacrificing a virgin or desecrating a holy place.' I said the next morning, trying to break the tension. We still lay together, naked and entwined beneath a bundle of furs and blankets. That we had used to try and keep warm and dry. But now she was still., and she refused to look at me in the face, even as she still kept her head resting again the notch in my shoulder and her arm still tightly held onto my chest.

Elaine had come to me more times during the night, each time with a new hunger, and though she had never been with a man before, she had learned quickly with a woman's instinct. But with the first rays of the sun had come the guilt.

I felt it too. Indeed, I had more to feel guilty about. She had betrayed an arranged marriage. Did she even have any feelings of love invested in her future husband? Agravaine was my friend though, my best friend and I had betrayed his trust. But I had been in love with Elaine for longer than I had known Agravaine, and there was a sheer joy in my heart that for the moment outweighed the guilt.

'That's not funny.' Elaine said shortly. She let go of me and climbed from the blankets, pulling one from where I still lay and began to reach for her clothes.

'It was a little funny.' I protested with light amusement as I watched her. She tried to dress and hide her nakedness from me at the same time, which I thought was a bit redundant. There was not a part of her body that I had not explored with my fingers and mouth during the night after all. Not for the first or last time in my life did I reflect on how much I just did not understand women.

'You need to dress.' She snapped at me.

'In a moment.' I said, not wanting to risk missing a single glimpse of her.

'Now!' She said sharply, and I sighed before climbing to my feet to go and locate my clothes. I grimaced as I realised, they were soaking.

'Maybe we should hang them and get back under the furs for a while.' I suggested. 'Let them dry.'

They would not dry of course, for it still rained outside. It was just a faint rain now that did not sweep through the temple. Even if they did dry by some miracle, we would just get soaked walking home. I just wanted to delay leaving though. I was scared of going back to the real world. It had been hard enough trying to pretend that I had not had feelings for Elaine. How much harder would it be trying to pretend that this never happened?

I followed her on her much more efficient track out of the forest. She was leading her horse, that had been picketed for the night just outside the stable and in reach of the stream so it could drink and graze. She led him now through the woods, the branches too low to ride him through. We walked in silence. I tried to start a conversation early on, but she did not reply and I did not push it. Instead I just thought of the things I wanted to say to her.

As we reached the edge of the forest, I helped Elaine into her saddle, and suddenly she kicked her horse forwards and straight into a canter, leaving me behind as she raced away, leaving a trail through the morning dew.

I stared after her in horror. I had known that I could not escort her home, kiss her and tell her that I loved her, but I had expected to be able to at least say something to her, even if that was just goodbye. Elaine did not even look back.

She was not so bloody precious during the night, I thought bitterly. I could feel the deep scratches of my back stinging against the itch of my woollen undershirt. I could still taste the blood on my lip where she had bit me, and had no doubt the teeth marks were still deeply imprinted upon my shoulder. I was going to have to invent a girl who could have given me them, I knew, but for now I was too busy feeling sorry for myself.