Jaleah didn't have much growing up. For as long as she's known, her family lived paycheck to paycheck, making ends meet with what they had. But, Jaleah always wanted to get out of that life. She always knew that one day, she would make it out.
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jaleah's perspective.
"Please just let me pick up one or two more shifts per week! Just like 8 extra hours, please." I follow behind my manager, paycheck in hand, trying to keep up with his quick pace as he shuffles around his office.
"Jaleah, I'm sorry but I don't have any extra hours to give out. Everyone around here is trying to pick up extra hours. There's just not enough to go around."
"Please Mr. Anderson." I practically beg.
I love college, but nobody told me how hard it would be. Trying to juggle going to class, doing homework, working and having a social life is a lot. On top of that, I'm super broke. I've always been broke, but not this type of broke. I can barely pay my phone bill and buy necessities with my paycheck. I'm lucky I have a meal plan, otherwise I would be starving to death.
"Look, kid. You're a great employee. You show up early, leave late, you're a people person; you're great. And if I could, I would give you as many extra hours as I could. But with an on campus job, it's hard. Maybe you should look into a second job." He sits down behind his desk, looking up at me over his eyeglasses.
I sigh, defeated. Paycheck after paycheck, I'm stuck penny pinching, trying to scramble to keep my life together. This honestly sucks.
"Thanks anyway." I stuff my check into my pocket and leave his office. I say goodbye to my coworkers as I walk through the store, then leave. Immediately, I call Izzy to vent.
"I was just about to call you." He says as he picks up. "How was work?"
"It was fine. I tried talking to my boss again about extra hours but he's just not having it. I need another job."
"Another job? You barely got time for everything now, how you gonna juggle another job?"
I roll my eyes. "Everybody keeps saying that but I'm just frustrated. Now I gotta beg T-Mobile to let me keep my phone on for 2 more weeks so I can try and pay my bill next check. And even that isn't a guarantee."
"Your parents can't help you?" He asks.
"I haven't really talked to them since I moved in. And they just don't have it to help me with this kind of stuff, especially while they're going through the divorce. I'm just gonna have to start looking for a new job."
"I don't want you to stretch yourself too thin. Let me help you out. How much you need?"
"I don't need one time help, babe. I need to be able to afford to live and pay my bills while in school. I need a new job."
"Just quit your job. I got you."
I raise an eyebrow. "Quit my job? What are you talking about?"
"I got you. That way you get to spend more time with me and your friends, and you won't have to worry about anything. You in college anyway, you should be having fun not busting ya ass tryna make $7.25 an hour."
"I can't ask you to do that, Israel."
"You not asking me. I'm offering."
"I don't know."
I have only known Israel a few months and we really just got together. It would be weird, to me, to let him just take care of me this early on. I've heard of that stuff in marriages or with couples who have kids, but not this early on into a relationship. I don't wanna become dependent on him.
"Just let me do this for you. It's no strings attached, I promise. I just wanna help you out."
I think about the paycheck I'd just received from my job. "Fine, Izzy. But I'm paying you back every cent I can when I'm done with school."
"At that point we gon be married so it ain't even gon matter."
I blush. "Yeah yeah. You coming to pick me up tonight? I only have two classes tomorrow and they're both after 12. We can have a movie night."
"Bet. I'm on my way."
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tory's perspective.
"Why can't we just go on a regular date, like regular people? All of this sneaking around is getting annoying."
"Soon. I promise." I lie.
"Tory, I don't wanna be your secret. It's not like it's back in the day or something. We can go out and be seen in public. Who cares?"
"It's not easy for me. I'm not ashamed of you this is just all new territory for me and I don't wanna shock everyone around me and give my mom a heart attack or something." I joke, making her smile.
"Okay, I'll give you some time. It's just that I like you and I don't want to feel like you don't want anyone to know who you really are."
"I like you too." I smile, "You wanna eat? I think I'm gonna order some buffalo wings."
No one knows this yet, but I've been dating a girl. She's a freshman like me, and we met during welcome week. We instantly clicked. We found our classes together, explored campus and went to as many events and parties that we could go to during freshman week. We had so much fun.
Something switched, though, after we hung out for a few weeks. It started to feel less like a friendship and more like we were dating. I knew Kennedy liked girls since day one, but I never knew I did. It just sort of happened.
The only reason I won't come out is because of my family. Although my mom may accept my wild, party girl side, she's still a church-going Christian woman at heart. I'm not sure if she'll accept me liking girls. Plus Jaleah, I can't lose her again. Especially not over a girl I just met and a sexuality I'm not sure I belong in yet.
And on top of that, I'm still a city girl at heart! I don't do relationships and falling in love and stuff, not with men at least. I use them for what they good for and move on with my life. Get that bread, get that head, then leave. Period. So I'm not sure what to do with a girl, or how to do this relationship stuff.
I just have to figure myself out before I come out. I can't risk everything for something so new. I need to know who I really am before exposing myself to everyone.
