Adore You | Catradora

Panicking At The Disco

Adora held her bass in one hand carefully, turning the tuning knobs right where they needed to be.

She sat alone and off to the side, away from Scorpia's guitar and Glimmer's vocal warmups and definitely Catra. She didn't think she'd be able to control herself if they were alone together for more than five minutes.

At rehearsal, she was going insane. She had to keep her thoughts to herself, pretending as if Catra wasn't fueling her imagination every time she brushed her arm or tapped her shoulder. As if she was perfectly fine working so close to her friend that she'd been fantasizing about for as long as she's known her.

Now, when they were finally performing their collab for the first time, she knew it was in her best interest not to kiss Catra in front of thousands of people. It doesn't help that every night for the past three days, she's had the same dream.

The two of them would be lying in Adora's bed. Catra had her head tucked into her chest and they weren't even talking. They were simply enjoying each other's company, no fear of any contracts or miscommunications. They'd finally gotten everything out into the open and they weren't scared of being together.

Catra would lift her head, and Adora would marvel at her for as long as she wanted to. She'd think of her bass and know that nothing she could ever play would be as beautiful as Catra. No amount of songs she sang would be able to capture the light and vibrancy this girl had in her life. It would be impossible to even try, so she didn't. They would stare at each other in silence with goofy smiles and hold hands.

Adora would lean in to kiss Catra, caressing her cheekbone with a gentle thumb and pouring all her love into the touch, only to wake up just as their lips ghosted over each other. And every night, she shifted in her bed and screamed into her pillow.

It ended abruptly, and Catra faded away.

From where she sat backstage, she glanced over at her. She could remember what the other kisses felt like and try to think of those in the moments when she missed Catra, but it would never be the same.

Somehow, Catra had something about her that was impossible to replicate in her thoughts. Nothing she could concoct in her mind could ever compare to the real thing. Catra managed to ruin every fantasy and daydream she used to have. Her head was flooded with wishes of kissing her again. They weren't going away.

Distrust and miscommunication had gotten them into their lowest point. After tonight, they'd be moving forward.

The backstage area was an open field where the bands in the queue would wait until it was their time to perform. They were the only two bands at the moment, which called for much more privacy. She sat on top of one of the speakers, away from the others to tune her bass in peace. If she was focused on Catra the whole time, she would never get anything done.

But then they made eye contact from across the field. The entire world around them paused, Adora drawn into Catra's gaze that melted her heart into a puddle of mush. They get to decide what they want. She's been given a choice, and she's already made up her mind. Shadow Weaver and her rules weren't holding her back anymore. If she wasn't alone in wanting Catra to be her girlfriend then she wasn't backing down from this.

Catra was dragged away by Swift Wind before a silent conversation could break out. Adora touched a finger to her lips for a moment, wiping the sweat from her brow as she found sudden motivation in her task again.

Once this was all over, they were going to sort everything out. She needed to power through this performance and she'd be okay.

That was going to be harder than she wanted. Just thinking about the performance made her turn her tuning knob too hard. She'd forgotten that Shadow Weaver's set list included Bad Romance. Only by chance would her hardest song come on the hardest night of her life. It wasn't even a hard song to perform! She and Glimmer had the lip syncing down to perfection, but it didn't stop Adora from cowering whenever her voice got projected into the crowd.