I never thought i'd be here, writing a letter to no one. i just miss the thought of you, lying next to me, laughing while i tell you stories of made up worlds. my eyes long to see your face again, my heartbeats, begging to feel you again. But alas, the birds are still singing and the water still rushing without you.
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5 months earlier
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i am on the train to Hogwarts. My fifth year. Everyone on the train is eager to get to school, unpack their things and check out their new beds.
I for one, am longing for home.
I'd never been truly connected to Hogwarts, as the other students seem to be. I see it as a school, not a home. I wished with all my heart that I could see it as a home, but I simply didn't. I learned here. I lived here. For most of the year, anyway. I didn't love here, or make my favorite memories here.
I didn't have many stable friends here. Sure, I had school friends. Friends that I shared classes with. Friends that I chatted with in the hallways between classes. But I didn't have any friends that I'd ever hang out with outside of Hogwarts, or go to parties with, or fall in love with. It simply wasn't something I could see myself doing. Most of the people here were kind of entitled snobs, thinking they were better than muggles, huffing whenever someone mentioned the word "basketball" or "football".
I was what some might call a "mudblood". Mum's a witch, dad's a muggle. Mum's friends freaked when they heard the news of her marrying a muggle. I mean, it was kind of forbidden, especially since she was a slytherin. Slytherins hates muggles, for whatever reason. Most, anyway. Not my mum of course, considering she married one.
Mum was pretty. She had long, dark hair, and a slim hourglass figure. She wore her signature red lipstick most of the time, topped off with some clear gloss. Her brows furrowed most of the time, in a curious manner, her eyes dark. Mum got lots of compliments from strangers, whether it was on her clothes, or just her beauty in general.
Dad was average, I'd say. Dirty blonde hair, sort of had a receding hairline. He was tall, at 6'3", and had a big build, but an even bigger heart. While Mum was getting complimented for her beauty, Dad was getting complimented for his kindness.
I stared out the window, into the mountains thats the train tracks of the Hogwarts Express overlooked. I sighed. I just wished I had someone to sit next to.
I was used to it though. Ever since Year 1, i've ridden to Hogwarts alone. It wasn't a big deal.
But, as i stared out the window, starting to zone out, i heard the door of the compartment id been sitting in slide open.
i snapped out of my daze and turned my head, expecting to see the sweets lady, offering some sort of magical treat.
but it wasn't.
it was no other than Draco Malfoy.
i'd disliked this boy since year 1. i was placed in the slytherin house with him, though i never payed much attention to him or really even talked to him. i'd always thought he was kind of snotty and spoiled, and i'd never really cared to get to know him, anyways.
"can i sit here? i don't really have anywhere to sit," draco said, looking very uninterested and grumpy.
i mumbled, "sure."
draco sat on the opposite side of me, as far away as possible. i turned back towards the window and rested my elbow on the windowsill, hand holding my head up, and watched the trees as the train sped past them.
"do you have any money?"
my head turned slowly towards malfoy, where he was looking at me, brow furrowed.
"for what?" i asked, picking up my bag from the floor to search for some spare change.
"i'd like some food. haven't eaten all day," he said, rolling his eyes and slumping against the bag of the bench.
"here," i said, handing him the last of my change out of my bag. draco grabbed the change out of my hand, and got up to walk out of the compartment.
slimy boy, i thought, didn't even bother to say thank you.
i turned to face the window once again, and draco was back, sliding open the door.
"thanks," he said, chocolate frog in hand.
i nodded to him, and he slumped against the chair once again, looking a bit happier this time now that he got some food.
"what's your name, by the way?" malfoy was now unwrapping the chocolate frog, gripping it so it wouldn't jump out of his hands.
"penelope ledger," i said, turning towards him once again. i realized he might keep talking, and my neck hurt from going back and forth from the window to the bench, so i instead just leaned my head against the back of the bench.
"what an odd name," draco said, as if his name wasn't Draco Malfoy.
i didn't respond, but instead i asked
"where are your little minions? crabbe and goyle, i mean?"
draco bit into the chocolate frog, thought for a second, then said,
"dead, i guess."
he smirked and looked away. i forced a slight laugh.
malfoy stared at me for a second, thinking. then said,
"how did you get into slytherin anyway? you seem like a hufflepuff. you know, dumb, happy for no reason, annoying sometimes."
i tried to ignore his question, but it kind of stung. hufflepuffs were great people too. i didn't feel like arguing though, so all i said was,
"not sure."
i started twiddling with the hair tie around my wrist, as draco was now looking out the window, still eating the chocolate frog.
"playing quidditch?" he asked, motioning towards a jersey sticking out of my bag.
i nudged the jersey back into my bag and zipped the rest of the bag shut.
"trying out at least, yes," i said, now sitting on top of my hands.
draco nodded a slow nod, as if questioning my quidditch abilities. then he looked me up and down and took a slow bite of the chocolate.
"your skirt is a little short, don't you think?" he smirked and threw his arm over the behind of the bench cockily.
i tugged down self consciously at my skirt, my face turning bright red.
"i don't think so," i said, looking away, and now placing my bag on my lap to cover my thighs that were showing as a result of my "short" skirt.
draco chuckled.
"i'm just joking with you, ledger," he said, as he pulled a green apple out of his bag.
my eyes widened at it.
"you said you had no food? that's why i gave you the last of my change. i was trying to be nice, malfoy," i said, my anger rising as i realized i could have bought myself a chocolate frog instead of him.
he took a big bite out of the apple, chewing on it and looking up with his brow furrowed, deep in thought.
"i don't like your name," he said, suddenly. i froze.
"i don't know what i can do about that one, malfoy," i said, looking back out the window.
"can i call you something different? like, Led? Orrr maybe Penny? El?" he asked, now tossing the apple up in the air and catching it, like some game.
"i really don't care what you call me," i said, fed up with him at this point.
He sat up very suddenly and quickly, catching the apple and his eyes going wide.
"how about pip?"
