Its Best If We Just Confess (Ryan Follese Fanfiction)

It's Best If We Just Confess - Chapter 8

Another week,

Another week of crying, of fear, of moping, it was another week of nothing. It was also another week till I mustered up all my confidence to leave my restricted space. The guys had a small acoustic show; they were performing at a quant coffee shop. When Ryan asked me if I wanted to tag along, I agreed. I actually got excited for something again.

The fall chill was in full force this time of the year. I had lost some weight since I barely ate anything the past month, the weight I lost melted off the excess fat and also much needed insulation. I layered on a purple long sleeve shirt, grey jacket, and floral print scarf. I of course also had on a red and black "Hot Chelle Rae" bracelet adorning my wrist, I never took it off. I myself was a big fan of the guy's music and not just because I knew them. I genuinely loved their songs and anticipated hearing new ones just as other fans did; although their fan base was small now.

 I drove for the first time in weeks. I had to re-adjust myself many times during my short drive to Café Coco, getting back into the 'groove' of transporting myself in the vehicle.

They had already begun playing by the time I got there, although they all noticed when I tip-toed in, careful not to disturb the music or people listening to it. I slipped into a vacant plush chair, the purple color almost identically matching my shirt. A lady who looks to be in her late twenties comes over offering a mug of peppermint tea "It's from the band playing" she states" They said to give it to you when you arrived" I thank her as she waddles off to attend to other customers and miscellaneous jobs around the shop.

I am finally able to relax into the soothing atmosphere, my ears tune in to the melodious tunes. "Say" is the current song they are playing, although I prefer to call it "Half past nine". I being the reason they decided to put that as the 'sub title' I guess we could call it. It's still my favorite line, and I am reminded of exactly why when Ryan's voice belts out the words so perfectly. He wrote this song for a girl named Isabel; they had planned to run away for a short amount of time. At least they had some common sense to not plan on leaving forever, although the plan did ultimately fall through.

The current song ends and they play Bleed, I Like to Dance, Alright, and The Distance afterwards. I can tell the whole band has been practicing; they seem to get better every day.

"This last song-" Ryan starts but cuts himself off to take a deep breath "This last song I'm gonna dedicate to my best friend. She's gone through some really crappy shit, and all I want to do is fix it all even though I know I can't." He strums his guitar while talking, he always has to do something with his hands when he's nervous

"But I being in a band" he gestures to the guys waving his hands "of course have to write a song about it, so ones for you Madison…"

Then it's just a few simple sounding drum beats and guitar strums till his voice is added to the musical mix.

"I can see it in your face there's someone else

You came here looking for shelter, a place to blame yourself

Your Guard is up, take it down slowly

Kill the pain, baby, put it on me

How could anyone leave you for someone else?"

I can't breathe. The song sure did take my breath away.

The song continues and the lyrics sink into my head.

"I know your heart hurts, but I'm with you for what its worth

Love burns, ice cold, the proof inside you forgets control

Heavy eyes, don’t lie

I'm the blue and you're my sky

I know your heart hurts, but I'm with you for what its worth"

Although his eyes wandered around the room scanning all of it, but not glancing at me, they connect with mine during the last line.

"I know your hearts hurts, but I'm with you for what its worth."

His voice danced, exaggerating certain words and prolonging certain notes. It was beautiful, his voice, the instruments, its lyrics, every part of it was beautiful.

That was the last song of the set; they came off the small stage that was only a few inches off the ground. I scampered to Ryan and hugged him tightly; he returned the hug even tighter.

"Thank you Ryan" I mumble into his shoulder

We pull away but his hands stay on my shoulders.

"You're not alone, you've got me and Nash, Jamie, and Ian. We all love you, a lot." He smiles

I smile but wonder what he means by "love". My brother told me he "loved" me, but I guess that’s the key part. He loved me, he once did but doesn’t now, didn’t a few years after he said it, and I know that; But Ryan, Nash, Jamie, and Ian said they love me, they love me now and they have told me they love me so many times at different parts of my life.

Loved

Love,

Two overly used words, but so easily told apart by the person speaking it. But I know they're saying love from the heart.