Every Line Crossed

ELC36

ELC36

No one of us was speaking even if we're just sitting side by side. Different from how the usual things are described when you finally let out the things that you're keeping inside for too long, I'm not feeling any relief or peace. I am right here, enduring the painful silence between us that's breaking my heart on each second that's passing by.

My eyes turned on Six in the driver seat. His knuckles are already turning white because of holding the steering wheel too tightly. His jaw is clenched hard and his eyes are darkly looking straight on the road. I shifted my eyes away again, back on the outside of the window.

I can't stare at him longer without my heart feeling like being stabbed by the sharpest kind of knife.

In no time, the tall gates of our mansion finally showed up in front of us. Six car stopped in front of it. The two of our guards walked to opened it as they recognize Six's car. They knew him and his car because Aza's always with him these days.

The car ran again when our gates were opened. We are again welcomed by a long driveway entrance to the main house. On each side has the lines of trees, plants, and other landscape elements.

Bumungad saamin ang malaking fountain, signifying that we're already in the main house. Six's car stopped in front of the front porch.

No one of us moved for long seconds. I know I shall move out of his car now but my body seems not cooperating on what I wanna do. Kanina, gustong-gusto ko nang makawala palayo sa katahimikan naming dalawa. But right now, I can't understand why I'm still prolonging this...

My head turned to Six when I heard him sighed heavily. He leaned his head on his seat, close his eyes tightly, and put his arm on the top of his forehead. Frustration was all over his face and movements.

"I'm such a thick-faced jerk, huh?"

My heart constricted. "Six..."

"What happened to those who－" he gulped and removed his arms on his forehead and opened his eyes but he still didn't look on my direction. "－Harassed you?"

"There are in jail..." mahina kong sagot.

He nodded slowly. "Good for them..." he said, gritting his teeth.

My feelings became heavier. Seeing him now, having a hard time accepting and processing everything, watching his pain and self-loathing felt so bad. I cannot understand myself because if he's feeling it all now, what more on my first-hand experiences? It was my own nightmare.

Bakit pati sa kanya ay nasasaktan din ako?

"Sige na... baka hinahanap ka na ni Aza."

"He's already at school by now..." I answered him.

Awkward. It's too awkward and there's too much uncomfortable tension surrounding us. My heart is continuously beating fast like it will even be louder than my voice at any moment. My body remained stoned on my position even if he already told me to go.

"I see..."

"Six, I hope w－"

"Don't worry, hindi na kita guguluhin."

Mas lalo ata akong nabato saaking upuan mas lumalala ang bigat na nararamdaman ko kanina. I always wanted to hear those words from him. I told him too many times to stop hoping and stop pursuing me. I am very sure that I would never come back to him. But why do those words felt too destructive?

"I know you could never forgive me anymore from everything. I'm sorry for insisting too much. I didn't know how I was hurting you by continuously showing up." saad niya gamit ang bigong boses. "Sorry if up until now, I'm still selfish."