Every Line Crossed

ELC31

ELC31

I contemplated on what shall I tell him. I can't tell him immediately that he has a son that's waiting for him. But how could I prepare him for it? I also don't want Aza to be hurt if he won't accept him. God knows how happy Azariah was these days with the idea that he has a father.

"Just because..."

"What?"

He started walking back towards me again. I panicked. I didn't know where to look at. Then I started asking myself questions.

Am I really ready for this?

Because the only thing I was sure of a while ago was his pain. And then, I started seeing Aza, too. The ideas of them both started to collide on my mind and I felt so bad because I was all focused on my own, of my pain. I didn't see Six who doesn't even know about his son. I ignored Aza who deserves to have a father.

Why did I let that happen?

"Kill?"

I woke up from my deep thinking and I met with Six's eyes once again. I can feel a massive weight right on my chest. I tried to give him a smile.

"Just contact me when you're free..."

"I can free my time for you. Kahit ngayon na." seryoso niyang sabi.

I gasped but I tried my best to make it unnoticeable for him. My heart thumped fast because of nervousness. Chills creep in my veins as a series of what-ifs came in my mind. I felt cold.

Ngayon?

Mabilis kong iniling ang aking ulo.

"No, really... just give me y-your free time." I gulped, trying to control the deafening emotions that are trying to mess with my system. "I'm okay with that."

His forehead creased. I know that's he's already getting confused from my mixed signals. I just didn't really expect him to offer today because I still have a lot of things to do.

I still have to prepare myself. I have to prepare Azariah, too. I just can't pull them both together in a similar place and introduce them both to each other. That's stupid.

"Tomorrow, then?"

I gasped and look at him again.

"Tomorrow agad?"

"The other next?"

Natahimik ako at bahagyang natulala sa nasa unahan ko. I sighed deeply before I returned my eyes to him. His eyebrow automatically raised.

Just like how it is before, he still uses his eyebrows to express what he wanted to tell people without speaking. I felt a tight grip on my chest. Remembering all of this now made me realize how I enjoyed watching him strictly before to the point that I memorized all of his little movements.

Even with the heaviness that I was feeling, I still manage to raise my hand, create a little space in the air between my thumb and forefinger to indicate a tiny sign.

"A little more?" I said.

His eyes followed the movement of my hand. His lips lifted a little before he took the seat where he was seated a while ago again. I immediately put my hands down and cleared my throat, imagining what I looked in his eyes because of what I did! Gosh! Nakakahiya!

Aren't you matured now, Kill?

"I see, you still do weird things with your hand..."

I felt my cheeks heating up. The way he said it was too serious but I felt like he was teasing me! The whole mood of our conversation felt hugely changing!