Diary of an Introvert 2

1: I woke up

I woke up not on my bed nor any parts of our house but in a room filled with the smell of medicines. I just woke up and doesn't have any idea of what happened or if what I'm experiencing right now is reality or just another dream.

"Kamusta na po siya, Doc?" A woman in her mid-50's ask. She's wearing a plain, blue polo shirt, pants and flats. It's my mom, I guess.

"Ngayon lang siya nagising pagkatapos ng halos isang taon, ma'am, kaya naman sigurado akong hindi ito madali para sa kanya. Nakakarinig po siya at nakakakita na ng maayos pero hindi pa niya kayang igalaw ng mabuti ang buong katawan niya. Kung pupunta siya ng banyo, kailangan niyo po siyang alalayan." 

"Sa...salamat po, Doc." 

"Doc, kaya na ba niyang magsalita?" A tall and slim-bodied teenage boy asked. Guess, it's my younger brother.

The doctor gave me a worried look before answering the question. "She can. Pero bigyan lang natin siya ng panahon." 

My younger brother just nodded. He smiled at me but, his eyes are telling me how pitiful I am right now.

"Huwag po kayong mag-alala. Gagaling po si Eucee." This doctor, who I guess, is in his 40's, gave my family the assurance that I'll be okay someday. 

He is not the doctor who was with me yesterday. This thought gave a sudden pain in my head and chest. 

My mom went out of the room with the doctor, while my brother stayed behind. He awkwardly sat on the chair beside my bed and gave me a sad smile.

"Ate, gusto mo bang kumain? Ipagbabalat kita ng mansanas kung gusto mo." 

I stayed quiet.

"Is that a no?" He laughed sounding embarrassed. "Siguro hindi ka pa gutom noh? Haha. Nakakapanibago lang. Patay gutom ka kasi eh." He paused. " Naaalala mo naman ako di ba? Ako si Ivan, yung gwapo mong nakababatang kapatid." He said, grinning at me.

I smiled and nodded. Yes, I'm blessed to be able to do at least these two things for now.

He looked happy and relieved that somehow I remembered him but, honestly, I know the name yet I'm having the hard time remembering his face.

"Ate, naaalala mo ba ang nangyari sayo?" 

Again, I stayed quiet.

"I guess, your silence means no. Hehe...anyways, ate. Gusto mo bang sabihin ko sayo ang alam ko sa nangyari?" 

I nodded. Yes, I want to know what the heck happened to me.

"I don't know kung naaalala mo yung araw na niyaya tayo ni tita Mimi na pumunta sa Mambukal resort, pero doon na nga nangyari ang aksidente. Nag-hiking tayo at sa kalagitnaan, bigla ka nalang nahiwalay sa amin. Hinanap ka namin sa tulong ng mga staffs pero hindi ka namin nakita agad. After 2 days, may isang residenteng tumawag at sinabing may nakita daw silang isang babaeng walang malay...at ikaw nga yun , ate. Sabi nila, baka nadulas ka raw at nahulog sa mga malalaking bato ng bundok." 

That was the time when I got lost but, in my dreams, I found the path again and was seen by Aki. That was also the day...when I first met Calvin.

"Isang taon ka lang naman natulog, ate." He sarcastically smiled and held my hand. "Pinag-alala mo kaming lahat." He sighed. A tired one.

While they worry about me, I was just having a good time in my dreams. Four years. I thought I was living my life with Calvin for 4 years already yet it seemed that life intentionally pranked me. Life made me feel how to love and be loved. That fake life made me realized how painful it was to lose a friend, a family and a loved one.

Yes, it was all just a dream but why do they feel so real? 

These memories are so clear and this pain...my feelings towards him... is still here.

Lord, what is the meaning of this?