Blind Love

Chapter One

Dying was easy, it was living that was hard. Everyone had some sort of life in the large city of New York. Living was difficult for James Barnes ever since he came back from war. James didn't feel alive anymore, ever since the accident that sent him back home. James had to relearn how to function. Dressing with one arm, bathing with one arm, eating with one arm. James may relearn how to function, but he still didn't know how to live. That was where his best friend Sam came in. Sam was doing everything in his power to get James integrated into society. They started small, going on walks in the park. Now they are doing more significant things like ordering coffee by yourself. Sam was waiting out in his car in the parking lot while James went inside and was ordering the coffee.

James felt his heart pounding as he waited in line. There was so much noise coming from the people in the shop and cars outside. Too many feelings all at once. James' hand curled into a fist as he stood in line. When he finally got to the front of the line, he looked at the Barista. "Uh, can I have a coffee. A cappuccino please" he said, pulling out his wallet. He looked at the barista who was looking at his right sleeve. The sleeve where his arm would be if it weren't blown off in Afghanistan. James cleared his throat, handing her the money before walking over to the side. He watched the barista make his coffee. That's when he felt the hand on his arm. James jumped and turned. He saw a man standing there, staring straight ahead at the wall of coffee machines. "What?" he snapped. He watched the man remove her hand so fast it was like his skin had burned him.

"I'm so sorry I didn't mean to startle you," the man said apologetically. The sadness on her face was evident, and it made James feel guilty for snapping. James felt like such a monster after coming back from the war.

"Oh. Don't..." he trailed off, he didn't know what to say to make this situation any better. Therefore, he knew he wasn't ready to do this yet. He snapped at an innocent man who was just trying to get his attention.

"Could you tell one of the baristas to come to me?" he asked, his head turning in his direction but his eyes were elsewhere, unfocused.

Just as James turned to get the barista, she noticed the man "Oh Steve I didn't even see you there!" the barista said, looking like a kicked puppy.

The man, Steve, chuckled a little, smiling wide. James felt captivated as he watched the exchange between the two people. "No worries," he said softly, James noticed how he wasn't looking at the barista directly as well. "I'll have my usual," he told the barista, holding out his credit card.

"Just go back to your seat, and I'll have Joey bring you your coffee," the barista told her. Steve smiled and turned around, using the chairs to guide her way back to the table. James couldn't figure it out. Why wasn't he looking directly at people? Why were his eyes just unfocused? "Sir, here is your coffee," The barista told him, pulling him from his thoughts.

James nodded and smiled a little before he took the coffees. James looked over at Steve again, and he walked around him. He saw him holding a book. James peeked over Steve's shoulder, and that's when everything clicked in James's mind. The book was braille . That's why he touched his arm to get his attention. That's why he didn't focus her eyes on him when he spoke. James started walking out of the shop. He cursed under his breath.

He snapped at a blind man.

As he walked out of the café, he was spiraling. He felt like such an asshole. What kind of person snaps at a blind man? James got in the car with Sam and handed him the coffee. Sam must have sensed that things didn't go well, so they drove back to James's apartment in silence.

That night James couldn't sleep. He just kept going over the encounter with Steve in his mind. He kept thinking about how it would have been different if he didn't snap. If he thought about other people's feelings before speaking.

It was around 3 am when he decided he would go to that café the next day to apologize. Hopefully, he would be there.

In the morning James walked to the café, thinking the fresh air would help him get his thoughts in order before he arrived. He was nervous, partly because he didn't know exactly what to say and because what if Steve doesn't forgive him for being so harsh and rude. By the time James arrived, he was shaking with nerves. He looked around the shop and smiled to himself when he saw Steve sitting at the table she was sitting at the day before. His heart sank when he noticed the white cane leaning against the table. James took a deep breath before he made his way over to him. He was reading his book again and James noticed a small smile on his lips as he got closer to Steve. When James reached the table, he noticed that Steve hadn't noticed him yet. He cleared his throat and Steve looked up at him "I'm sorry to disturb you," James began, keeping his nerves out of his voice "I don't know if you remember me, but I was in here yesterday and was quite rude to you. I came here to apologize." He spoke to him like he had rehearsed a thousand times in the mirror that morning and on the walk to the coffee shop.

"Yes, I remember you," Steve spoke, James felt his heart fall when he thought of the horrible impression he must have left. "I startled you, it should be me who is apologizing to you," he said. His eyes were on his chest and not his eyes. He motioned with his hand "Please sit" Steve told him. James felt his heart quicken as he pulled out a chair to sit down. "You are apologizing because you realized I was blind right?" he asked.

James stuttered. Of course, that was why he was apologizing but he didn't want Steve to know that "No it was rude of me to act that way to a handsome ma- I mean man" James said quickly, smiling when he heard Steve's laugh. "Let me buy you a coffee as an apology, I insist," James told him.

Steve smiled, a slight red hue appearing on his cheeks. "If you insist," he said. James smiled to himself before he got up and paid for Steve's usual. He came back and set the coffee down on the table in front of him. He watched as Steve reached out to feel for the coffee and without thinking James pushed the cup into his hands "Thank you" he said with a smile.

James smiled back before he realized that steve couldn't see his smile. He had to use his words "It's no problem." James told Steve. "I'm James Barnes by the way"

"Steve Rogers. It's nice to meet you, James."