Kidnapped by the Mafia

Breaking Point

Tessa's pov:

I woke up a lot calmer than last time. I was in agony but man did it feel good. I had come to terms with the fact I was alive, but in no way did it mean that I was happy about it.

With every breath, I felt like I was walking on a tightrope. Even something small could make that line wobble and I would fall to the deepest depths of the Earth. I was fragile, I knew that. But I didn't want to be treated like glass.

If Giovanni was going to kill me then I would face death with a smile; as though I was greeting an old friend. I had no will to live so what was the point in fearing death? Maybe there is a God or maybe there isn't. Or maybe we don't know. But in the moment, lying on a hospital bed, with wires to keep me alive, I didn't care.

If there was nothingness after death, I'd be okay with it. And if there was a Saviour or a Higher Being to clear me of my sins, I'd be okay with it.

I had failed death too many times, and the next time, I wanted to succeed. To wash away the pain and welcome the numbness.

Because right now, I'm not living. I'm just surviving.

Everyone survives but not everyone gets the chance to live, and I was one of those people who would never get to run happily in fields of daisies, or cross of items on my bucket list with a best friend. And I was okay with it.

My heart felt so heavy. But at the same time numb. It was like a massive weight that stopped me from being able to breathe properly, but I didn't care because pain was numb. And numb was good.

"Tessa?" Giovanni spoke calmly. I expected him to be mad but he just seemed disappointed and concerned; something I wasn't used to.

"When can I leave?" My throat was still dry but I gulped away my thoughts.

"You're still at the house. This is just an in-home hospital." I nodded and returned to staring at the plain grey walls.

"Call me Gio."

"I want to join your gang or whatever it is." I took a shaky breath but this was the choice I made. I was going to die anyways, why not speed up the process with drugs, guns and scary ass men.

"No. Look Principessa, we are going to protect you-"

"-Don't you get that I don't want protecting. I've lost everything and I just want to lose me. I lost my innocence, my happiness, my family, my trust, my head, my untouched body. I never had much to begin with, but it was always enough. Now I have nothing. Gio I just want to die... I can't live like this..."

I had reached my breaking point and he rushed to my side and held me softly.

"Alla fine andrà tutto bene." (In the end everything will be fine.)

"Credimi amore." (Believe me love)

I didn't no what he was saying but it sounded like he cared. It was a foreign feeling but it was kinda...nice. Like when clouds finally move and a rainbow stands in its place.

A/N

This is kinda personal and hits deep, to me at least.

I'm here to talk if anyone needs it.

Mental health is not a trend! It is serious, and people who are suffering are not reaching out because people are saying they are just sad, or a little nervous. This is real, so start treating it like it should be.

It's a short chapter but more should come tonight xx