Dirty Secrets {A Crash & Burn Novella}

Chapter 9

Stella

Paul never let up. Not one single day went by that he didn't put his hands on me. Force himself on me. I've kept Trevor and Aubree from the truth. I didn't want this life for them. Everything I've done, I've done for them. Max too. It's the way it has to be. I've found an escape in a bottle of pills and wine. Sometimes, I go to whiskey. It just depends on how deep the cuts and bruises.

I placed Paul's plate of food on the table and swallowed hard. Last time, he was displeased with the food. Hopefully, it's to his liking. I bit my lip as he cut through the steak and took a bite. He nodded and moaned. "Much better."

I turned to leave, but he gripped my forearm and pulled me onto his lap. My heartbeat quickened as he brought the knife to my mouth. He slid it across my bottom lip and murmured. "Where did you go the other day, dear wife?"

"I went for a walk. I swear, it's the truth." I whispered.

He put the knife down and cupped the side of my face. "Is that so?"

"Yes, I just wanted to enjoy the beautiful day." I lied.

I couldn't tell him I was with Max all day. I wouldn't put him and his boys in harm's way.

"You know, my birthday is coming up and I know exactly what I want."

I stayed silent, averting my gaze. He put two fingers under my chin and tipped my head back. "I want to watch you with Chuck. He never got his turn last time. Although, he did watch the video and was very pleased."

"Please, Paul. I..."

He threw his head back and laughed. "Relax, I'm kidding. I do want something from you. I've yet to fuck your ass. That's what I want. I want to feel the tightness grip my dick and cum all over this fat ass."

I shook my head violently and closed my eyes. I couldn't even imagine how bad it would hurt. It hurt bad enough when he broke through my hymen for the first time. I can't... I just can't.

Thankfully, I was saved by a knock at the door. I breathed out a sigh of relief and put one hand on my chest. I was living a nightmare. I can't undo the past, but at least I can give shield my children from the truth. That their father was a monster.

I stood next to the door and listened. I could hear Paul's angry voice on the other side. Another voice I didn't recognize was arguing with him. I couldn't make out everything, but I did hear one thing.

"Make sure the little bitch stays quiet. Whatever it takes, don't let her out of your sight." Paul hissed angrily.

I hurried back to the sink and acted like I was doing dishes. I heard Paul come into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around my waist, placing a kiss on my neck. Trevor and Aubree was already sleeping. So, that's a good thing.

"I-is everything okay?" I asked, my voice trembling.

"Yes. Just some trouble with some vandalism down at the church."

Liar.

Paul sighed and twisted me around to face him. "I've got to go out of town for a few days. I've got a business meeting with the Mayor of Charlston, Arkansas. Be good."

"You're leaving now?"

"It's about four hours away. Gonna miss me, wifey?"

"I always miss you." That's a lie.

Inside, I was jumping for joy.

Finally, I would have peace.

It would give me a few days to heal.

"Love you, sweetheart." He whispered, pecking my lips.

"I love you too, Paul."

I was such a little liar.

His very existence made me sick.

The next morning, I was at the park watching Trevor and Aubree play in the park. That's when I saw him. I sucked in a breath as he met my gaze. He smiled at me as his sons ran to the swing set. He didn't advance towards me. It was too risky. Paul may be out of town, but there were still prying eyes. Gregory could be watching. Hell, anyone could be watching. I have no idea how many people he has in his pocket.

I glanced back to the children and watched as they played together. Murdoch was helping Aubree out of the swing. They have no idea that they'll never be able to be friends. Not when Max and Paul hated each other. Too much bad blood between our families.

I stood up from the bench and made my way to Trevor and Aubree. "Come on, it's time for lunch."

Trevor held Aubree's hand and took mine as well. Just as I turned around, I bumped into Max. I thought he was going to hold my hand. He didn't. I felt him slide a note into my hand. I clenched it tightly and raised my head.

"See you soon, sugar." He whispered so that Trevor and Aubree couldn't hear.

As soon as we walked away, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I got home and made the kids a plate of potato chips and a ham and cheese sandwich. I placed two glasses of chocolate milk in front of them and sat down across from them. I held the note under the table and unfolded it.

My dearest Stella,

Not a day goes by that I don't think about you. The way you smell. The way your lips feel against mine. How you fit my cock perfectly. Daddy misses his sugar. He misses you so much. The other day, I kissed you knowing it was wrong. You're married now. Married to him. I can't help but think about how things used to be between us. I need you. Crave you more than anything. Kalina came to me yesterday. She knows what your husband does. She's agreed to keep this a secret if you're willing to meet with me tonight. She's arranged to pick you and the kids up. If anyone asks, you're having dinner with an old friend. That's not a lie. Not completely. You will be having dinner with an old friend. Just not the one anyone would suspect. Right now, I'm sitting one house from yours on my bike. Just give me a sign. Turn on your porch light to let me know you'll meet me tonight.

With Love,
Your first love.

P.S.
Daddy can't wait to see you, sugar.

I glanced at Trevor and Aubree who was oblivious to the tears streaming down my cheeks. I stood up and walked to the front door. I opened the curtain slightly with my finger on the light switch. I watched as Max rode past the house slowly. I turned on the light with a smile on my face.

"Your sugar misses you too, Daddy. See you soon." I whispered to myself.

And for the first time in a very long time, I felt butterflies in my stomach. I had a feeling this was just the beginning of our love affair. I was gonna go to hell, but I didn't care. God would forgive me as long as I repented my sins. I would fall victim to the darkness and give in. I'd meet Max and pick up where we left off years ago. I'd be in the arms of my Daddy.