MAKING AMENDS

Chapter 5

Amaan's POV

Their laughs echo in my ears, their entwined hands flash before my eyes. Pain finds a home in me once again; it courses through my body like nothing else I've felt before. She was smiling but not for me, her smiles, her love and her trust all belong to someone else and it's not me. The sheer realization that it might never be me again is enough to knock me off my feet. I drop down to my knees as that pain and hurt dissolves into anger. That anger is directed towards me, how could I let her go?. This all my fault and I can't do anything about it.

The pain in my chest gets too much and I start to throw around things around in my room, maybe the noise will make me feel better. Anything, anything that will take the pain away, my hands start to tremble and the glass in my hand slices my skin but I don't feel anything, it isn't enough to take it away I need something else but nothing can make the pain go away except her. 'I need her' are my last thoughts before everything starts to get blurry.

...............

I don't know when I blacked out but it seems dark outside so I'm guessing I've been out for the whole day, thank god I didn't have anything important scheduled for today. I check my phone to check the time when I receive the second shock of the day. I have a miss call from Aina? But why would she call me? I open my phone only to receive two text messages from her, saying that she heard I was in town and she wanted to speak to me.

Why would she want to speak with me? Maybe she has forgiven me? Even the though seems impossible and I laugh at myself for thinking that me and Aina could ever go back to what we used be. The laughter soon turns into anger as I remember the incident from this morning and I clench my fist, the movement causing pain. I look at my hand only to find it in a pretty bad shape with a deep cut down the middle of the palm. I don't really remember anything from my attack this morning but I do have a vague idea about this cut.

I take the first aid kit from the dresser, to disinfect and bandage the wound,, while still thinking about Aina. Almost finished bandaging I try to think of a reason why Aina would want to meet me when images from my nightmare flash before my eyes and I clench my fists again only this time I don't feel the pain from my wound, instead wince at the pain in my chest.

No I can't torture myself like this its better just to find out what she has to say tomorrow. But I can't stop thinking about her and him, even in my thoughts I sneer at the thought of him with my Aina. No she isn't mine anymore, because I screwed it up. If she's away from me and finding solace in someone else it's no one's fault but my own and that's the worst part of it all.

I try to stop all the thoughts bombarding my mind and try to think about the fact that I will see Aina for almost after an eternity. Whatever reason she might be wanting to meet me, the fact that I will see her tomorrow is enough to calm my chaotic thoughts and for the first time in a long time I sleep peacefully.

..................

My sleep breaks abruptly at 4 in the morning when I realize, I haven't replied to Aina yet. God I'm so dumb, I think as I fumble with my phone in a hurry and type a reply to her agreeing to meet her and asking her the venue. To my surprise she replies immediately telling me the time and place. I know she won't like it but I can't help but worry about her and ask her what she was doing awake at this ungodly hour, she was never one to wake up early when we were together.

I was right, she chimes back immediately and even though we are texting I can feel the annoyance dripping from her words, she's right it's none of my business but how can she think that I don't care, if there is one thing I know for certain is that I will never stop loving her. So that's exactly what I say to her.