The party was loud and what some of these girls are wearing is even louder. The music blared above the noise of voices. There wasn't a quiet room in the house and the music could be heard from down the street. There were no cars in the neighbors’ driveways, probably trying to hide from the noise.
I don’t even get why I’m here. Sophie dragged me along but I don’t even know where she is. She left my side as soon as we walked in, even though she promised she wouldn’t leave me. Most of the people here are drunk and the rest of them disappeared upstairs before 10. Isn’t it great how teenagers throw parties?
I really don’t want to be here-and if one more guy tries to touch me, I’m going to scream. Here’s a ‘congrats for surviving high school, but let’s still act like sophomores at their first party’ kind of attitude that people have just got to love. Most of us are leaving for college this week but we still are here acting like idiots.
I’m so done with this so I head out back to the dock that looks out over the lake. Trying to block out Beyoncé’s next hit, I walk down the gentle slope of the backyard down to the wood dock. I walk down to the very end that reaches out over the lake.
I sit and watch the moon and stars dance over the water as the wind moved the current of the lake around until I hear the creak of the dock boards and hear someone say my name.
“You’re really the life of the party, aren’t you Jess?” Someone says sitting down next to me on the dock. My chest starts to lock up and my heart beats faster than before. I could feel the heat reaching my face before clawing onto my cheeks.
“Yeah, I guess so. I mean, I am the only one here that will feel alive tomorrow morning, so,” I joke looking sideways at Eric. I caught the edge of his face, illuminated by the reflection of the moonlight on the lake.
My heart beats faster and it’s harder to breath. I really hate this stupid crush. It doesn’t matter anyway. He is leaving for Oxford in two days and I leave for Berkeley tomorrow. It’s not like we will ever see each other again. But, maybe I should just tell him. It’s not like there will be anything left after tonight to mess up. We will be on opposite sides of the country and we will never see each other again.
“Hey! I haven’t had a drink tonight, thank you very much, Jessica,” He teased, hitting his shoulder into mine, breaking me out of my thoughts and shifting me off balance, grabbing on to him to keep from falling over.
“Don’t call me that,” I say sending him my best glare. I dropped my hand off of him and crossed my arms over my chest as I looked over the water as it danced with the wind.
“Fine, whatever, but what are you really doing out here?” He asked looking at me sideways, with sincerity in his voice.
I keep looking out over the lake and sigh, “Just thinking about how everything changes after tonight. No more high school parties, no more horrible teachers, no more seeing everyone. We are leaving and some of us are never coming back. We aren’t kids anymore, we’re adults now. That’s just a scary thought. There won't be any more calling each other at three in the morning because someone broke up with someone and someone caused it. Nothing is going to be the same.”
“That’s deep.”
“I’m serious!” I screeched as I smacked his arm.
“So am I!” he tries to defend. “But really, it makes you think of everything you haven’t said that you may never get to say. All of those secrets that you have been hiding for so long.”
I look over the water and feel Eric lean closer to me. He shifts, closing the distance between us. His arm presses against mine, as the heat from his arm seeps into my arm. I could feel myself losing my breath. Before I lost it completely I opened my mouth and started talking.
“Hey Eric, there’s something I need to tell you,” I breathe as I turn to look at him.
“What’s up, Jess?” He asks, looking to me too.
We both shift over so we are facing each other better. He reaches over for my hand. I reach for his hand too and let him pull our hands onto his leg. He looks deep into my eyes and started rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb, drawing small shapes and patterns of heat on my skin.
“I-”
“Eric! Eric! There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you!” Someone squealed from the other end of the dock, breaking us from our moment. “Come on! We are starting the Xbox! Justin brought some of his sister’s dance games!”
I turned away from Eric and look back at the water and the stars. Pulling my hand back with me and folding them together in my lap. My hand became cold, missing the feeling of his hand in mine.
“Coming Claire! Hey Jess, I’ll see you soon, okay?”
“Yeah, sure, sounds good,” I reply trying to hide the disappointment in my voice, without looking back over at him.
Eric leaned over and kissed my cheek before getting up and walking back down the dock, across the back yard, to the loud party filled with screaming teenagers. The lights had been turned up now drowning the stars that were reflecting on the lake. They danced and flicked as people danced in front of the windows. The TV screen was visible from the lake, showing the start of a game on the Xbox, that they indeed have.
Eric walked down the dock, never looking back. Almost lost over the noise of the party, I heard the words “I love you” leave my mouth, in nothing more than a whisper, pushed out by a breath of air that tried to escape my lungs. I swear I heard “I love you” drifting through the air in a voice other than my own. Just a whispered breath, mostly lost in the wind, but still carried out to the end of the dock. As I looked back I saw Eric walking off the dock. He tossed a look over his shoulder and I knew without any other recognition, that the voice of the wind was his.
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Trying to post some my peices that I haven't posted yet.....
~A<3
