Vulgarities Galore // HxH Kinky!Reader Insert

✨shit, im a failure✨

"Ticket, please."

"Fuck off."

"Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you can't get on the boat without a ticket."

"The ship captain is my grandfather." You look straight into the guys eyes without a single hint of the lie you just told. "Alright, fine. You do actually look like him. Go ahead." You smirked and stepped up to the ship's deck, shifting your bag on your shoulder and snatching the wallet of the ticket man as you walked by him.

"Like taking candy from a baby..."

You giggled to yourself and opened the wallet, tossing the man's ID into the sea as you walked to sit on the ledge of the deck. There were various cards in the wallet that you planned to pawn off online, taking 4,000 Jenny from a slit and shoving it down your bra. "Ne, girlie~"

"E? The fuck do you want?"

"You're gonna fall off into the ocean if you sit up there much longer~"

"No, I'm not. I mean, I wouldn't be opposed to it, but I certainly don't want to get my new outfit wet." The man laughed and said, "Oh, I don't think your pants will be the only thing-" the man was silenced as pop tab embedded itself in his throat. A pop and fizz was heard from your end of the conversation and took a sip of your monster energy drink. "Shut up, you disgusting fuck. I'm fine with pervs, but when they're as disgusting as you? Ugh. I can't stand people like you."

The man choked and sputtered on his own blood, the ship captain watching the scene from the other side of the deck. "Young woman, what do you think you're doing?" You turned to the old man and said, "I am seventeen and that man is easily in his forties. I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to stand up to pedos." The captain sighed and snapped his fingers, crew mates coming on deck, carrying the mans body away, and cleaning the blood from the wood.

/:\
\:/

"Jeez, why is everyone yelling?" You moved your sleep mask from your eyes and rolled down the sleeves on your black turtle neck, sitting up in your hammock. As soon as you did so, you fell backwards and wrapped your leg around the fabric in a perfect climbing knot. "There's a huge storm! How did you not wake up?!" You shrugged your shoulders and moved your mask back to your eyes, falling asleep upside down.

About an hour later, you were awoken by a foul smell. Groaning and pulling yourself up, you noticed your face mask was on the ground in a puddle of vomit. "That's fucking great." You grabbed your bag and untied your leg, hopping down an leaving the cabin that was full of grown men losing their stomachs. You didn't want vomit on your pink boots, so you ran forward and launched yourself onto the wall, pushing off and landing in the hallway outside of the cabin.

"Not a single one of them's got their sea legs..."

"Miss, would you come with me?"

"E? Sure if it'll get me away from that shit." You followed the short captain to the deck of the ship where he asked, "What is your name and why do you want to be a hunter?"

"I'm (Y/N) Kawakami. I want to be a hunter to prove that I'm not weak and that I can take care of myself."

"Hmm... well then, I think you'll have a fine time taking the exam. That storm was but a test of wills and stomachs - as you can see, you're the only one that has passed."

"No cap? That's pretty cool. Less competition~!"

/:\
\:/

"Find your way to that giant Cedar at the top of the hill. There's a family there that will be your guides to the Hunter exam."

"Arigatou, mister. See you around?"

"Shua." You ran off to find a trail map to heed the captain instructions, finding one that a small group of kids were already at. "Ne. You going to the cedar, too?"

"E? Oh, yeah! You're going there?" You laughed internally at the boy with green hair, nodding and saying, "Y'know, since we're all going to the same place, why don't we go together?" You kicked your shoes on the edge of the map board and your boots turned to roller skates, making you a couple of inches taller. "Uwa! That's so cool!"

"Thanks, kid. So what route are you guys thinking of taking?" The tall man sucked his teeth and turned away from the group. "I'm taking the buses. We'll see who gets there first."

"Uh, okay- UWA-" your hand was grabbed by the little boy with green hair and you and the blonde boy were dragged down the street at the other man went to the buses. Soon though, he came running to your trio, yelling at you to wait for him.

/:\
\:/

"A town? No one's here... creepy."

"Actually there are people everywhere. Watching us. I can feel them staring at us. It's almost as if we're the ghosts in this ghost town and, for the first time, the villagers can see the apparition they they thought the little boy was lying about..." you eyes glazed over and your shoulders slumped as you zoned out, the others giving you strange looks.

"Well, ignoring that, she's right. There are people everywhere - I can feel their eyes, too." You snapped out of your trance as a large door opened, a float bursting out with some of the townspeople and presumably the villages crazy lady. "Gokai..."

"Gokai?"

"Gokai..."

"Gokai?"

"Gokai... two choice quiz!!" Trumpets sounded and a bird cawed, the others confused as hell. There had been a presence following you and you could feel him step forward and walk in front of the group. "Sorry guys, I heard your conversation with the ship captain and followed-"

"E,  E, we know. Go ahead, we'll go next."

Leorio and Gon stared at you with bewilderment and Kurapika simply nodded. You decided to speak up and say to the old woman, "For the record, I'm not part of their group. We were just going the same way, so if they fail, don't include me." The old lady sighed and nodded, you sitting against a wall and putting in your earbuds. Of course, with your personality, you put on a playlist of... questionable songs, the first one to play being Three Musketeers.

You pretty much zoned out until your shoulder was tapped, taking out an earbud and looking up at Gon who said, "You're up, (Y/N)!"

"Aa, arigatou." You stood up and brushed yourself off, saying to the group, "Catch up with you guys later. Don't wait on me." The group nodded and left you alone with the villagers. "Alright, I'm ready."

"Fine, then. You, your mother, and your father are taken hostage. You can only save one - who do you save?"

"I sacrifice myself in their place. That is... if these are imaginary ones that aren't abusive assholes. Now, if they were my REAL parents who are abusive fucks I can't wait to kill, by the way, I still wouldn't let them die. I want to be able to kill them myself. In advance, sorry for the long answer and sob story. My parents are the reason I'm so fucked and have basically no  future. It's kind of the reason I became a hunter. I would find a way for all of us to live - just so I could prove I'm not weak. To prove that I matter and they're wrong. I don't truly know what I would do right now, but if I was in the situation, it would certainly come to me."

You stopped and took a breath, waiting for the old lady's response. "What a thoughtful response. I say you are correct. You may go with your friends."

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