Dreams.
Once, long ago, when he had been nothing more than a child, the world had seemed endless, full of wonder and possibilities.
But it was cold and it was cruel. No place for a child of the light.
But that child was cursed. Destined to find his home not in the light, but in the darkness.
To find his love not in the rays of the sun, but in the dusk of shadows.
But that had always been his dream anyway.
...
Once upon a time, there had been a young boy, full of hope and light.
A young boy who had purposefully been kept in the dark, like that alone could somehow change the inevitable. Like it would somehow be enough to change the very foundation of what he was.
An omega.
He could recall not knowing exactly what that meant. Only that it was different than what he should be. Could remember hearing his mother and father whisper about it late at night when they thought he had long since fall asleep. Hushed words that would often turn harsh and cruel. The first seeds of doubt being placed into an innocent mind and slowly corrupting it against the truth.
Things would get better once he presented. His mother practically promised that everything would change once that fateful day occurred. Because it was entirely possible that he wasn't actually what they feared. That his genetic code hadn't gone awry in that particular fashion.
It would be better, he realized, for them to have a son with female genitalia and no medical explanation for the occurrence than for them to have a male omega.
It was his fault.
It could only ever have been his fault. Some genetic karma being passed down from a former life. Something terrible that he had done or thought when he was still too young to even know such things were possible. Because of course it could only ever have been because of him. Not because his mother was an omega. Not because there was a long line of them on both sides.
Not because, when the odds had been stacked, he had simply lost the bet. Had been the unfortunate first attempt at getting it right.
The first one never came out right away. He could still remember his mother's voice as she said it. As though he were nothing more than the first attempt at a pancake early in the morning.
As if he weren't even human.
As if he were a curse.
The image of his mother's face would forever stay etched inside his mind. Her snarky sarcastic answers to all of his seemingly unimportant questions playing over and over on an endless loop.
She had never bothered to take the time to explain what it meant to be an omega. Had forbidden him from seeking out the information himself. Distantly he could still remember hiding away in a far corner of the library one rainy afternoon with a book that had been written decades before, hurriedly scanning through the pages, desperately trying to find answers to his questions.
But there hadn't been any. Because male omegas were barely even talked about, let along used as subjects, even in books that were meant for education.
It was so easy to believe that this was all some curse. That he had clearly done something to bring about this calamity. That he deserved to feel ashamed. That it was his duty to try and fix it by hiding away. By being quiet. By being unassuming. By being a good son and simply acting like he didn't exist.
