Shadows of the past

Ghosts of the past

A/N So this is my first time actually doing a fanfic. I really just wanted to credit my cousin Maryam, who is also on wattpad, her username is DarkFantasy16. I may never have posted anything if not for her continued support.

TW for self harm and suicidal ideation. 

So this part is a flashback scene. Btw this is first person.

*Flashback starts now*

Shadows. That is what the mind of Tony Stark is full of. Who would have thought the 16 year old heir would be depressed? It sounds ridiculous even to myself. But then again I suppose this is who I was under the mask. An insecure depressed boy who just wanted his father's approval. Quite pathetic. I'm sure if Father heard of me being so weak I would once again be told to grow up and that Stark men NEVER admit to weakness or feel it.

But really, look beyond the mask and that's all I am. I pick up a razor, passing its cool sharp blade over my wrist hard. Screaming and crying is pointless so I don't. Why should I? It has been drilled into for a long time. Emotions such as those are not luxuries I can indulge in. Besides a single tear, my eyes remain dry. I dont have to scream. The voices in my head do it for me. They call me Worthless. A burden. They tell me how friendless and alone I am. I have never been given any reason not to agree with them so I don't. Wrapping bandages around my wrists quickly and efficiently, I pull on a hoodie to ensure the invisibility of the bandages. Not like anyone would notice them anyway.

*Flashback ends*

Still immersed in memories of a time long past, I didn't even realise I was rubbing my thumb over old scars. A coping mechanism for when the voices resurfaced. It became a habit after some time. I did it subconciously now.

But those scars were before MIT. My decision to stop was sudden. It was more of a subconcious one really. My admission into MIT was everything for me. I was actually expecting my father to notice me because of it. To look up from his work and maybe-just maybe- be proud of me for once. It was a child's dream and a fool's hope. I told him and he barely looked up. It was when I finally realised that he didn't give a damn and probably never would. The realisation that I would never be good enough for him pushed something in me. I stopped cutting that day. If nothing I did could affect him, then why should I let him keep hurting me? Of course, the voices never truly went away, but they found different ammunition over the years. Just as how I found different coping mechanisms.

I shook the cobwebs of memories past from my head as I heard Pepper call for me, making sure to cover up the scars before i went to meet her.

A/N so this is my first fanfic. Hope you peeps enjoy! Comments and constructive criticism will make me ridiculously happy