Lost In This World of $in

Lost.

We've been best friends since before I can remember. We prolly been cool since the wombs. Our mothers were best friends. They got pregnant around the same time, then had us around the same time.

From Elementary, Middle, then High school we been rockin. We'd been best friends nothing more through out our many years of school. Then out of nowhere, something sparked an we became more.

I'd always felt something slight for him throughout our friendship before it turnt into a relationship. But I was too scared to admit it to him.

Once we got together we became one. A whole. We promised to be together forever, no matter what. My love for him continuously grows deeper everyday, day by day.

I was there with him when he ain't have shit, well let me rephrase that "when we ain't have shit." Now we're grown and successful and he treats me like I ain't shit.

I'm sure he still loves me and care for me throughout all this shit we're going through. I feel like all the money and all the thots have changed him into something he promised he would never be.

We graduated from High school together. That had to be one of the proudest days of our lives. But mainly his. School was a hassle for him.

I mean he's very smart and intelligent. It's just that in a way he made it hard for himself in school cause of his attitude and behavior. But his grades were straight. So when he walked across that stage he was happy that he'd made it.

After we graduated he continued on with his hustlin lifestyle. While I on the other hand took my classes online for college. Money started rollin in even more from left and right due to his hustlin.

Immediately he put us in a nice home on the outskirts of the city. To this day he's still successful in what he does. He's not the flashy and/or cocky type. He real chill, but a real asshole too.

Some may consider me as the female him. In my opinion I kind of am in a way. I think I got him beat in the attitude department. And he got me beat in the "too blunt" department.

He says I complain too much and to just let him be. He's a grown ass man and he can do whatever the fuck he want. Technically he is grown, but age doesn't classify your demeanor.

A grown man doesn't betray the woman who loves him more than she loves herself, for a thot bitch from around the way. He doesn't come in all times of the night, claiming he was with his boys.

Yeah he coulda been with his boys, but after a while that excuse gets hella played out. I don't think I complain too much and if I do then oh fucking well.

What bitch would want to be couped up in a home all damn day, with no friends. Waiting for her man to come home from "working." Just to hear him tell you that you complain to much. When all you want do is spend time with him. And to feel loved.

That shit is degrading to my fucking soul. And as simple as that word is I've grown to hate it. And if this shit continues I'm afraid to say I'll grow to hate him. Then I'll fucking leave him.

Then he can be out even later in the night with his thotty thirst bucket bitches. And when he finally decides to come home he won't have to answer to a complaining whining bitch like myself.

Lights just flashed through my bedroom window. The door downstairs just closed. I hear heavy footsteps. The room door just opened. Looking at the clock it reads 3:04 a.m. My fine specimen of a man is finally here.

There he is standing in the doorway, watching me as I watch him. Breaking eye contact with him I simply roll my eyes. He responds by smacking his lips and shooing me away.

Take this night as an example of what I just explained to you all. I haven't seen him since 11 o'clock yesterday morning. I called him twice yesterday around 7 o'clock to ask him what he wanted for dinner. But of course I got no reply.

I don't even want to argue with his grown ass. I'm tired as fuck and I'm finna go to sleep. The only reason I stayed up till he got home. Was because I wanted to make sure he made it here home safely.

Only the Lord knows how much I love that man. But now that he's here and I know that he's okay. Imma be hella petty. This shit has been goin on for a little over two months. .

It's time to nip that shit in the bud. Imma give his ass a dose of his own medicine. Let's see how he likes the shit then.

I'm laying down under the covers with my head resting on the pillow. Closing my eyes I begin my nights rest. Just as I get to sleepin good. His ass comes and gets in the bed .

The smell of his body wash lingers on him heavily. Lawdd, he smells so good. With my back facing him I continue to sniff the air heavily like a weirdo.

Laying down completely in the bed and under the covers he grips my body carefully by the waist. And pulls me to him. As he places his arm around my slim waist.

He begins to give me light pecks all over the side of my face and the back of my neck. As I lay their with my breathing hitched trying to stay strong.

"I love you."

"Good night baby."

"You don't got no panties on."

I close my eyes tightly while pinning my lips closed. I will not submit to him and his lovingly sexual behaviors. He will not win.

Immediately I push him away from me and stand up. I pull his t-shirt down that I'm currently wearing back to its rightful place causing it to fall to its regular length below my ass cheeks.

He sat up in the bed, allowing his back to rest against the headboard. This slight frustrated but tired look rested upon his eyes as he stared at me.

I hate his eyes just as much as I love them. Their this pretty hazel like color. They have this beautiful shine to them that just makes me so submissive to him.

So submissive that I have to keep my legs pressed together while looking at them. He has this thing where it's like he can see right through you.

Like now he's staring directly at me, trying to make me fall for him and get back in bed. His eyes are his weapons to get what he wants from me, when he wants it, and how he wants it.

And on any other day it would've worked. But not today. From this point on he will no longer get away with the shit he be pullin. Straight like that. And if he don't like it, then oh fucking well.

I love him, but if I have to I can do without him.