The Bible - The Good Version

the name of the earth

once upon a time on the planet gay, there was a very sexy man called KIM JONG UN, but everyone called him big Kimmy ( after his dick which was super big.) It was so long that it ran all the way down his long trouser leg.

Now, Big Kimmy was a dictator president who liked to abuse his people with things like whips, choking and being tied up in front of him for a few hours. BUT ONE DAY.... a young lady (she wasn't really young, she just acted like an infant) called Donald Breastpump™ decided that she would do something very naughty, she was going to steal signs of Kimmy and write rude words on them. Eventually Kimmy found out about Donald's plan and he decided to give her one chance to give him back the signs, but it was too late, she'd already called him some very naughty words so he was upset.

'YOU CHEEKY BUGGER', Kimmy yelled as he spanked her hard on her flat butt. Donald ran away and she was never to be seen again on the planet gay. Donald ran away to another planet which we call mars, so when they say there's life on Mars, this is what the scientists meant.

Eventually, Kimmy felt so bad about Donald that he decided to go out and find her. Kimmy searched far and wide until he came to the planet Mars. He found Donald and he was so desperate for her. 'I love you Donald' exclaimed Kimmy! 'Seriously, me too, I regret those signs.... But there is something else I want to do to you. Kimmy ripped his shirt off with great force and Donald followed. Eventually the two sexy gods wrestled and did a 'special cuddle' for a very long time. 'lc8tsiztiii9i, eeerrrreiejdjdbw', they moaned in keyboard smashes.

'Come back Donald, I have a treat for you' said Kimmy. So they jumped up onto their massive nuke and flew back to planet gay, crashing into a few houses on the way. 'I want to name the planet after you!' said Kimmy.

And this is why earth is named as it is, because one of Donald's moans contained all of those letters of the word earth. 'How sweet' Donald would often think to herself.

Eventually Donald and Kimmy became a couple and they were the sexiest in all the land. They fucked every day and eventually Donald got preggers with someone who we now know as Boris JohnCena™.

These three men have now gone on to be known as holy motherfucker trinity.