Daily at 4:30 pm I sat in the park notice every single living thing around me humans, birds, animals and vegetation. All those flowers which bloom in pairs tossing their heads together with the sweet breeze. Birds in pairs preparing their nests for their babies and some for themselves for their beloveds, humans coming in pairs talking lovingly smiling at each other. I daily notice love sparkling in their eyes for their loving ones struggling to shower all their love on their beloved in just one stare. A sight of intense sweet love.
It's been four months since I'm with him, he is totally a different guy mysterious, deep with empty eyes. I have never seen any sort of expression on his face nor any emotion in his eyes which can show his feelings for me. He has never confessed that he loved me or still love, but he always admit that he cares for me and respect my feelings of love which I have for him. It's an un- fading love and love which I have for him since forever...............
I woke up daily in the morning rub my eyes, still in bed I grab my laptop and the first thing I do is text him a good morning or something special or just simply scroll up and down the chat of last night or simply kiss his picture. In these four months we have never met but every day we make plans how to meet n when n where. But never got a chance to meet. We talk daily sometimes on calls n on video calls but mostly on chats. I have told him a hundred times that I love him and he told me that he is someone else's. This is always very painful for me always whenever I heard this or think about this it seems that someone is pulling off me on thrones and I get depressed and often cry secretly at night, how lucky that girl would be as she is his beloved and me? Who am I? A friend he says but I think that I'm an entertainment for him, but still I love him I don't know why but I can't help it.
Last night we talked, I asked him what place I own in his life. And he simply replied u are a friend with benefits!!!!!!! It was hilarious actually hilarious I wanted to get buried under the pile of mud, very awkwardly I picked my broken self and stood again in front of him with a smile and a reply "so are u to me". He is so mean I know, he is using me I know but still I love him badly so badly. It is not that easy, to leave him, I know that I'm of no worth for him except my money and my body. But what, what is it that pulled me towards him.
i want to spend my whole life with him, every single moment of my life with him....................
you know that i have started playing with him the we he had played, although i loved him from the deepest of my heart but this brain what should i do of it that's why now for sometime i have started listening to my brain, n you know what its really a fun. but my heart poor thing still cry blood tears damn!!!!!!!!!!!!
