I'm sick of trying, trying to fold the words off my wall. I'm sick of trying, to be somone I'm not at all. People are sick of fighting, fighting the depressive episodes going on in their heads. So they just lie in bed. I'm Tired of crying, hate seeing what's going on in my head. So I'd lock myself up. I would shut up. I would abandon myself away from the others so they didnt know, didnt know what was in my episode.
Whats the episode, they might ask, So I'll tell you while taking time from my tasks.
I actually go through this. Thinking these thoughts in my head. "They wont like you." "Your better off dying in bed". And I listen. Its taken advantage of me. Its taken advantage on who I'd be without this. Without these episodes. So let's end this show.
People go through this. Dont think it's a joke. Dont go around looking for someone to poke. Because it's not funny. Oh honey please know. That no one wants these episodes. Because they'd be sick of trying. Sick of crying. Sick of everything.
So what's the point of trying anymore for them. "Cheer up. Smile" is all they say. How does that cure me. They ask, I'd advise you ask for help and start trying.
