Heather - A three part Songfic

Wish I Had Heather

Last li'l bit of the three-part story. No happy endings...

     "You look a lot better in that than I do." I said, studying Finn. In my black, paint-splattered hoodie, it brought out his eyes. For me it just contrasted too much with my skin and...everything else. "Are you sure?" He asked. I nodded, giving him the "okay" sign and chuckling. "Well, thanks, it's warm." He said, smiling. "No prob-...lem." I knew he liked me, I knew I shouldn't've, but I couldn't stop my eyes from following Heather as she passed us. I couldn't stop the way I sighed softly, swooning as she walked by me. It probably hurt him. But I couldn't help it.

     That was a month and a half ago on December 3rd. Currently it's January 20th, at the end of school. I'm honestly stunned Heather agreed to be my girlfriend.
    Her hand is warm in mine. It feels right, the way my arm is around her shoulders. It was comforting. And we're warming each other against the cold.
     "So what do you think I should draw?" I ask. Heather looks away for a few seconds, thinking. A flash of movement catches my eye, and I glance over. It was Finn. A flash of guilt invades my heart. I know he likes me, but I still feel bad for dating Heather right in front of him.
     "Um, how about a mountain or something?" Heather asks. I think for a short moment. "I could do that. As a joke to my name, right?" I laugh, and a thought occurs to me. "But what about you?" I ask. "You don't have to draw me." She replies, smiling.
     "But I do." I say, pulling her closer. She doesn't lean into me, and I feel a pang in my heart. Does she not like me? "Then...draw a heather flower, but only the outline, and then snowy mountains inside. Even though they don't even occur in the same place." She chuckles nervously, sending my heart aflutter. "That could work!" I grin, hiding the fact I felt hurt as we step on the bus.

     I kiss Heather goodbye, but something different. I can tell something is wrong. Like she's trying to distance herself from me. I didn't know why. Maybe she's actually straight and only is dating me for a bet? Or out of pity?
     The thought makes me guilty, and I pull away sooner than I meant. Heather waves at me, and I half-heartedly wave back as she walks inside. Then I begin to walk down the street to my house, only a few houses away.

     At home, I don't go inside right away. I circle around back and then sit on the porch. Maybe I'm overthinking it? Did she mean anything by it? The change in the way she kissed me, the lack of affection when I tried to pull her closer. Did it mean anything? Or did she just have a bad day?
     Is Heather not in love with me the way I'm in love with her? Before I realize it, tears are streaming down my face. I pull my knees onto the chair I'm sitting on, and cross my arms over them, burying my face in my crossed arms.
     Maybe she is straight...not...like me... I think. Waves and waves of sadness and grief roll over me. Possibilities and self-deprecating words roll off my tongue as sobs. Maybe I'm good enough for her. Maybe she loved me at the start, but doesn't love me anymore and feels bad for me, so she hasn't broken up with me yet. Maybe she only dates me out of pity because of my albinism.
     But there's only one thing I know for sure: Heather isn't acting the same as when I asked her to be my girlfriend. "I wish I had Heather..."

Damn Wattpad keeps giving me the thing where it can't save because I edited the file on my phone while it was open on my computer. I'm pissed.