My first girlfriend said she wouldn't put out
"Baby, what the fuck are you talking about?"
I think I loved her, but they're a dime a dozen
Plus, emotions are fleeting, unlike my clout
Got lonely but I had the world at my fingers
Hit the start button as I muted her ringer
Turns out the real world is harsh and mean
And expects much more than the girls on my screen
Doesn't matter if the breakup stings like a knife
Just pull up your computer and get harder than life
Well, the knife doesn't twist like the body of a harlot
So my feelings for her were quickly forgotten
A string of faces blurred together
Women who said they'd love me forever
Can't help if it doesn't make my toes curl
To hear a tossed around word from a tossed around girl
Maybe nothing is sacred, but one thing's divine
All glory to this here escape of mine
And if one day you can barely get off to your wife
Just pull up your computer and get harder than life
"I'm packing your bags and changing the key
You never even pay attention to me"
So it goes I'm now walking out the door
Because sex was a bore and her body a chore
Though I believe in vows and forevermore
It's true that she didn't do it for me anymore
There'd been hope for a big house for a big family
But a statistic is all the divorce court will see
A tragic tale of the 21st century
Where modern romance is meant to make you lonely
The verdict doesn't change just cause you're getting old
And could now really use somebody to hold
When you're young they say to expect nothing but strife
Just pull up your computer and get harder than life
