Why not me? (Oisuga angst)

[3]

⚠️ TW⚠️

Oikawa decided to read the rest of the note.
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Please don't think you're not enough or anything less than what you really are your honestly really great but I just think of you as a friend and nothing else I'm really sorry. You should move on and be happy :)
From,Suga
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Oikawa didn't know what to say but he couldn't stop from thinking less of himself Why not me then..,? Oikawa got his phone and texted suga
"it's not my fault I can't control who I love and I'm sorry I'll still always love you,bye" and Oikawa putted his phone on silent not surprised if he never responds. Oikawa goes to his desk and sees some old pictures of him and his team mates but a certain one catches his eye it was the first time he saw suga he remembers how breathe taking and beautiful Suga looked. He gives a sorrow chuckle to him self "why couldn't I like someone else" he walked down stairs and his mom wasn't home yet he sighed I guess I was meant to be lonely anyway he smiled and he walked to the bathroom in his moms room he got some pills. He got to his room and swallowed each pill left until he felt like he won't be saved "why not me?" He whispered until he fell asleep. He knew Suga will probably think he ghosted everyone but I guess that's a way to look at it. As Oikawa looks at him from the stars he hopes Suga's happy. As a few days turned into months he was already 6ft under ground mean while his old phone still rings with missed calls he'll never return and the bottle of pills still laying in his restroom floor along side a picture of everyone he cared about he just hopes the constellations still shine in Suga's eyes but "why couldn't it have been me?"
"Hey I hadn't heard from Oikawa in a really long time" Suga stated while talking to Iwazumi
"Hm Yeah me nether he probably finally found something to spend his time on" iwazumi chuckled
"Hehe yeah" suga paused for a second "Why don't we visit him! do you think he still lives there?" "Yeah he most likely still does so why not let's visit him and I'll make sure to kick his ass for ignoring me" Iwazumi scoffs
"Alright see ya after school" "yeah see ya" as suga runs over to Daichi
As the end of the school day arrives suga tells Daichi he's going to visit Oikawa so he's going to be late.As Suga and Iwazumi walk to Oikawas house in complete silence Suga asked "do you think he has a girl friend?" "Idk he probably does" Iwazumi says they got to his house and it was unlocked "Dumbass" Iwazumi chuckled "So he must be home!" Suga says cheerfully. As they walk towards Oikawas room they see it's all bordered up..? They stand there confused wondering why is it bordered up Iwazumi gets off the wood blocking the door to Oikawa's room which was pretty easy but as they look around it's all dusty and he isn't there..? As Iwazumi walked around the dirty room he almost tripped on something an empty bottle of Pills? And he picked it up wondering why does he need these? "Hey he left his phone here..!" Suga grabbed the phone and saw all the missed calls "So he was getting the calls then why didn't he pick them up?" As they look around his desk for more answers he finds some flowers? And it has a note that says I miss you..?
Suddenly they see Oikawas mom at the front of the door she looks at them and just broke down but why? "Why didn't I came home back sooner"she choked out "Wait what happened where is he?" Says Suga in a worried tone
"He's dead" she continues to sob as Iwazumi tried to comfort her after she got better they left. And soon enough suga and Iwazumi stopped talking to each other. But the constellations still sparkle in Suga's eyes. But not for oikawa but for someone that could've been him,Thanks for reading,-Author:)