To All The Girls That I've Loved

Wang Chengxuan (Sharon Wang)

If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is how I met the girl, and how did we end up together or, I don't know, maybe, you'll ask who's top or bottom. Sorry to break your bubble, but none of those sexual fantasies of yours ever happened. You see, I am a kind-hearted person who will treat a woman right, decent or not decent in the eyes of the people; they deserve to be treated right, even prostitutes; because I believe that job is tough, and no job should be diminished, if you get AIDS, then good luck with that! But don't lose hope. I believe there'll be a cure for that in the future, so hold on and live your life to the fullest! – Even if you'll live shortly enough because of the sickness. As what the 2018 Miss Universe said, "to see situations with a silver lining." It was a positive way to look at things in life, but I'm not a positive person; so it doesn't apply to me. I just quoted it because I liked it.

Sometimes I hate myself for getting out of the main point because I get over-excited when I share my thoughts. You see, I'm like Elsa, the snow queen, "conceal don't feel, don't let them know. Well, now they know. Let it go, let it go." Shit. I was singing that part. It's so good especially when you sing it in a karaoke bar and you just don't mind how bad you sing it but you just feel like Mariah Carey, hitting all those notes.

See? I get off topic again. I was talking about Elsa, not because I like the song but how she suppressed her inner lesbianism.

God-Allah-Brahma-Buddha, I hate the feeling of being closeted. No, it's not me. It's the people around me. I'm already out; my parents know I puke rainbows. If I could paint our house rainbow, I would, but of course, my mother-dear would beat the shit out of me if I did. She loves the sophisticated golden tone of our house, my father doesn't have a say of the design; he likes red. People use red color to lure the bulls during bullfights, do they know bulls are color blind? They charge not because of the color but they get irritated at the fabric being waved. You don't believe me? Go check it on the internet.

I wonder where this story of mine will go. But the bottom line is, being in the closet sucks. I know that for a fact. My friend Sunrui is still in the closet. She's afraid to come out to her parents even if her parents know I'm a lesbian and I'm sure they don't mind it because if they did, we won't be friends.

I don't know why people are so uncomfortable labeling themselves this. It's not a degrading word; it's just the word for it. What else should I label myself, purple? I'm not allowed to use that. BTS owns that color.

I'm kidding!

Honestly, do you know who said it? – Those baby bra Armys who I see on Twitter, messaging people to not use the color because it's supposed to be "theirs." I'll get torched if they hear me say this, but I'll just point out what I said, "those baby bra Armys", and if you're not like them then there's nothing to be offended of. What do BTS and Army have to do with any of these?

NOTHING!

The more I open my mouth the more red flags I will get. That's not good! But just a quick thought. There's a lot of shipping nowadays. I don't really understand why people like to ship other people. Isn't that human trafficking? It's dehumanizing!

OK. This is it for real. No going off the trail bullshit talk.

I'm going to talk about the softest, cutest, and kindest schoolmate of mine; her name is Wang Chengxuan, or she preferred herself to be called Sharon. But I can't pronounce her name well; it's too difficult for my tongue, it'll get twisted when I try pronouncing the name. I only use my tongue for other purposes if you know what I mean.

So, this cute little sunshine Chengxuan is from Taiwan. Ah... Taiwan. Let's not talk about the politics between our countries; I'll get red flags for it. It's none of my business. But Chengxuan is my business because how can I not get fluttered when I see her? She's so adorable, so petit, and such a baby. It makes me want to put her in my pocket, and take care of her.