Dreaming Of You (banana bus squad oneshots)

Express Part 1 (Brian)

WARNING THIS WILL BE A VERY DARK ONE SHOT
Lets hope it doesn't get taken down
IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO TRIGGERING TOPICS PLEASE DO NOT READ
SUCH AS: self harm, suicide, eating disorders, paedophilia, child abuse, transphobia, homophobia, ableist
CONTINUE AT YOUR OWN RISK

I let out a jagged breath, my shaking hands carting through my hair, gripping the ends. I swallowed heavily, forcing down a painful sob. Tears cascaded down my face, landing on my thighs with little splats. I sat on the edge of my bed, my toes gripping the carpet beneath my feet. I leaned over and grabbed my phone. One in the morning.

I wiped my arm over my eyes, sniffling loudly. I just needed to calm down, before my dad heard me and yelled at me. He looked around my dark room, finding a box of tissues, I started to wipe at my face. I found a water bottle and took a good few gulps of the cold liquid.

Eventually calming down, I now lay under the covers, having a gentle throbbing in my head and my body. At least I just cried this time. My phone vibrated with a message, so I quickly checked it.

Moo: Hey dude, you up? I really need someone to talk to.

I bit down on my lip, breathing through my nose. I was quick to respond, knowing my friend, my crush, was upset. Around four in the morning, he went to sleep. I stayed up, plagued by my thoughts. At seven, my alarm went off. I went to school, having no choice. Brock didn't show up.

~~~~~

We were hanging out at Tyler's house. It was a Saturday, and everyone happened to be free. So Tyler offered, and everyone came. We all squeezed into his living room somehow, and everyone was doing their own things.

Evan, Jonathan, Tyler and David were all playing Mario Kart. Loud shouts and screaming was heard. They took up the couch, all of them leaning forward so they could see the screen better. Marcel and Scotty were sharing an armchair, Marcel half in Scotty's lap. They were laughing at the four idiots. Antony was leaning over the couch, annoying the gamers. Brock was laughing, trying to get Anthony to stop.

I sat on the floor, almost in the corner. This always happened. I did try, I swear I did. I always tried at the start to join. I was loud, happy, smiling, making funny voices. Then Tyler called me annoying, and said I was too loud. David told me to shut up, saying I wasn't funny.

No one else stood up for me, most even agreed. Even Brock said I was getting kind of annoying.

I looked at my friends around me, feeling pain build up in my chest and a burning in my throat. I stood up slowly and made my way out, knowing no one noticed. I went to the bathroom and sat on the floor just trying to control my breathing and calm my mind.

I don't want to be here anymore.

I stood up and made my way out, my chest getting tighter and tighter. I was right, no one noticed me leave. "I'm gonna go guys," I spoke, just loud enough for them to hear over the yelling. The only response I got was a salute from Brock.

~~~~~

"Ashley!" My dad growled, making me look up in confusion. We were having a normal conversation, why is he suddenly angry?

"Can you do anything right Ashley?" Mum asked in a yell. I looked at her in confusion. "Don't give me that fucking look!"

I went to say something, but was interrupted by mum again. "Are you talking to that boy again?"

"That boy...?" I asked in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"That pedo," Mum explained in a sigh. "Craig."

I looked down at my lap, tears welling up in my eyes. I hate when they mention him. It was a mistake. I tightened my hands into fists, my bitten off nails digging into my palms.