𝐼 𝑓𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 (Chrollo x reader)

Friendship

Your pov

As the car immediately disappeared into the fog, I stood shivering at the front door, as I feared that opening it would bring back horrible memories.
It would be rude to come in without even warning, but now I'm here, I can't retrace my steps right now.
I have to face my fears.
I rang the bell several times, but there were no answers. The silence was pissing me off, unbearable.
The door was open so I decided to open it up a bit and take a look inside.

My grandfather was sitting in the armchair, probably asleep, with his head tilted to the left. There were some leftovers on the table, they smell like a hundred years old.
He's breathing, he probably can't move anymore.
Should I wake him up? What have I come to do otherwise?
I approached him and caressed his cheek murmuring "grandpa".
He woke up with a start and made me back away:

"My darling, have you changed your clothes? You don't usually wear this crap. And what happened to the baby you were carrying? Is he dead? For the love of God! That psycho must have forced you to have an abortion!"

As soon as he finished this sentence, he stroked my stomach looking for a minimum of swelling, but there was nothing.

These words rushed into my soul like an extremely hot blade piercing my last crumbs of happiness and hope.
I fell to the cold floor, tears streaming down my cheeks. I decided to act like what seemed to be my mother to get more information about her past. But my grandfather didn't want to help.

"Look at your hips, I wish I could sink my fingers there one more time. There are no more wounds on your legs, but that does not mean that you are allowed to go out dressed like that, I have to punish you like I used to!"

Even my grandfather, he's a fucking piece of shit as well! Why? Why can't I live my childhood even though I'm late? Why? WHY DON'T THEY LET ME FORGIVE THEM? WHY?

I said the last words out loud, forcing him to slap me and throw himself on top of me. He tried to spread my legs with his knee, but I punched him full of all the anger I have held for years.
As soon as he took off, I got up to take the first effective weapon I saw, which was a thick, almost butcher's knife, resting on a cutting board.

"TELL ME WHY! WHY CAN'T I LIVE A NORMAL LIFE? WHY CAN'T I BE LIKE THE OTHERS? WHY CAN'T I KNOW THE MEANING OF HAPPINESS? WHY? WHY WHY WHY?"

My voice trailed off with his last heavy heartbeat. My body was covered in dirty blood, so I went to the bathroom to peel my grandfather's blood, even though my clothes were still soaked with it.

As soon as I got out of the bathroom I looked in the opposite direction from where I came from. As soon as I saw the end of the corridor an idea popped into my mind.
There was a ruined door blocked by some bars. It had obviously caught my attention, so I thought I'd break it.
That little door hid my mother's room.

I recognized it was my mother's room from the photos that decorated the bright pink walls. The girl in the picture looked tremendously like me, so she must have been my mother.
Opposite the bed was a large bookcase. Intrigued, I went through each compartment to find a secret diary. I want to know my mother, I want to know why she died.

I couldn't find any personal diary, but at the top of the library was a book on the sidelines. I couldn't reach it because of my height. I need Hisoka now, but that dumbass ran off right away.
I stupidly decided to climb the library, in fact a pile of books fell on my head, making me fall, but with agility I shifted my weight on my legs to fall perfectly on my feet.
I looked up at the ceiling as if for help when another book fell on my head.

Crashing on my head, the book opened, creating a carpet of pages on the floor.
A nearly burnt page caught my attention, so I decided to grab it and read it: