Worth Fighting For

Chapter Eleven

The boys warmed up to Eleanor (El, as they call her now) quickly. Niall, being the sweetheart he is, welcomed her instantly, almost naively. Liam was slightly more wary, but respectful and nice enough to be cordial until he realized he genuinely did like the girl. Zayn held out the longest, for Harry. Because Zayn is the one Harry goes to when he can't go to Louis. Because Zayn understands. No one (except Louis and his mum) can read Harry better than Zayn. Zayn can read everyone that way, it's just who he is. So he noticed, like Louis, when Harry wasn't fine even if he swore he was. He stayed cold towards Eleanor for weeks as a show of solidarity, cause Harry was too much of an angel to do it himself.

Eventually, El grew on them too, though Harry retained the uneasiness he felt towards her. But Zayn, at Harry's request, stopped being outright rude to her, settling for comforting Harry and simply being quiet and, well, broody.

Harry doesn't know what he'd do without Zayn, if he's being honest. Without Zayn to hold him while he cries over Louis having to miss a date because he had to be papped with El. Without Zayn to stay with when he can't with Louis. Louis was the love of his life, but Zayn was his brother. To be fair, they were all brothers, but Zayn and Harry understood each other on another level. Zayn was the first one to understand and agree with Harry's uncomfort with Simon. Zayn is the best, after Louis, at knowing when something was wrong. And he's the best, again after Louis, at comforting Harry.

So that's why it's Zayn holding him tonight while Louis is out with Eleanor. It's the third night this week. Harry didn't go to Zayn. He'd already showed up in the other boy's room crying twice. He wasn't a goddamn baby- he should be able to pull his shit together. And he did. For a while.

They were still at Simon's, though the man was away on a business trip so tensions were much lower in the house. Louis left in the early evening, promising to be back as soon as he could. And while he was sad, Harry held it together. If Louis could be strong for him, Harry could be strong for Louis. It wasn't until after dinner (pizza, at Niall's request) and part way through a movie that it fell apart. Harry's phone buzzed beside him. A Twitter notification. Harry probably should've ignored it. He didn't. #Louis was trending, along with #LouisTomlinson, #EleanorCalder, and #Elounor. There were photos of Louis at some restaurant with the pretty brunette, ones from earlier of them at a small cafe, others of them walking along the street. He was holding her hand, smiling, talking to her. Even kissing her.

It made Harry's stomach churn, but he was pulled from his thoughts of it should me, I should be the one holding his hand by Liam gently prying the phone from his hands.

"Let's not look at that shit, yeah?" he said softly, setting the phone aside. Harry just nodded, slid on an unbothered, fake smile. (It was getting alarmingly easy for him to do that convincingly.)

"Yeah, 'm fine. Finish the movie?" Harry suggested, proud of how steady he was able to keep his voice, of how good he was getting at hiding the pain. Liam frowned a little, but then Niall was resuming the movie and Liam shrugged, relaxing back into the couch. Harry tried to ignore the way Zayn squeezed his arm, in a way that said he knew. Harry just brushed it off and forced himself to smile, laughing at the right times and tucking his head behind Liam's shoulder at the scarier parts. He acted normal. But all along, there was that voice. The one in the back of his mind that constantly whispered to him, you're not enough, you know. Louis will get tired of this. He'll get tired of you. And can you blame him? Harry told the voice to shut up, tried to ignore it, but it stayed a quiet, constant hissing in his head.

The movie ended, but instead of agreeing to another, Harry claimed to be tired and retired to his room for the night with a smile. Once in his room, though, he crumpled, the mask he put on shattering and falling away. He didn't even make it to his bed. Once the door was closed, he simply sunk down against it and buried his head in his hands, knees drawn up. He tried to stay quiet- really he did- so as not to bother the other boys. The only sounds he made were long, shuddering breaths and the occasional quiet, hiccuping sob. It didn't matter. Zayn knew anyway. It was less than five minutes until the older boy was knocking on Harry's door, asking softly to be let in. Harry obliged, moving away from the door and taking a few moments to try and look less of a mess before he opened the door.

"Hey, Z," he said, his voice thick with tears. "What's up?" Zayn looked at him sadly.

"Haz... it's ok not to be ok with all this, you know? And it's definitely ok to come to me or the boys when you aren't. We're brothers, I'm always going to be here for you," Zayn told him gently, eyes never leaving Harry's. But Harry shook his head.

"I'm fine," he insisted hoarsely. "I'm fine. Louis is the one that has to have a beard, Louis is the one who should be breaking down, not me. But he's strong, he's alright, so I can be too." Zayn scoffed at that, shaking his head.

"You're both idiots, you know that? Entirely daft, the both of you." He sighed at Harry's befuddled expression. "Louis isn't ok, Harry. Having to go out with her, lie about your relationship, it's fucking with his head, mate. You both don't want to upset the other anymore by telling them, but you're both hurting and you need each other, Haz. So let me come in and cuddle with you 'til Lou gets back and then maybe you can both get your heads outta your arses and bloody talk already."

"L-Louis' upset?" Was all Harry could manage. Zayn couldn't help the small chuckle that rose out of him. He moved into Harry's room, slinging an arm around the younger boy and pressing a kiss to his curls.

"Whenever he can't be with you, H," Zayn told him with a squeeze. Harry flushed at that as Zayn flopped onto Harry's bed, patting the spot beside him. Harry went happily, tucking himself into Zayn. He fit better with Louis, but Harry was never one to turn away cuddles. "You and Tommo are going to be fine, Haz. You'll make it through this. You've got me and the boys. And you've got each other." Harry could just nod and hope he was right.

-

If it were anyone else, Louis would be jealous upon walking in on Harry curled into Zayn's side, soundly asleep as the Bradford boy scrolls through his phone, one hand running through Harry's curls absentmindedly. But instead, Louis just feels guilty and sad. Zayn looks up as Louis walks in, expression unreadable. Louis walks over to the bed, sitting on Harry's other side and gently swiping an eyelash off the boy's cheek.

"He alright?"

"He'll be better now that you're here," Zayn answers. Louis sighs.

"How bad tonight?" Louis knows that Harry gets upset when he leaves with Eleanor, and he hates that there's nothing he can do about it. It's all for Harry, Louis reminds himself. For Harry. But that doesn't make it any easier to seem him upset. Zayn shrugs.

"Not bad, actually. I noticed pretty fast, made it in before he got too far gone. Told him you guys need to get your shit together and talk."

"You what?" Louis demands, keeping his voice quiet. Zayn sighs, arching an eyebrow.

"You're both hurting, Lou. Only way you make it through this is together. He feels like he can't be upset cause you aren't and you have it worse. Told him you're upset by it all too. Y'gotta talk to him, mate. He's gotta be able to talk to you. 'Course me and the others are here for you both but that's more brotherly love. We can't give you what you can give each other." Louis opens his mouth to reply, but before he can, Zayn is shaking Harry awake with a whispered, "Lou's here."

"Louis?" Harry asks groggily, blinking owlishly before his gaze settles on Louis. Then he breaks into a wide smile, leaning up to kiss him as Zayn removes himself from the bed.

"And that's my cue to leave," Zayn chuckles, his laugh growing as Louis flips him off, moving on top of Harry. He pauses at the door and looks at the two. "Talk, guys. You need it." And then he's gone.