Close To My Heart

Dear Guardian

Dear guardian,

How are you today? I hope to meet you soon in paradise, so I can tell you how my life have been after you left

I am on my second year of high school, my family are doing great we have two cats now I know you would love them

But I really want to apologize to you so bad to the point my heart aches, I am sorry I couldn't come and visit you for a month when I had the chance to. I couldn't believe my ears when I heard everyone saying you were in IC, I begged my parents to visit you, I couldn't stop thinking about you all day all night, I mean why? Why did you have to leave now? You told me you were gonna attend my wedding, you said you were gonna be here when I become a well known artist

When my family finally allowed me to come I was so nervous to break down, and I did, I broke down the moment my eyes landed on your weak body, I didn't recognize you at first because of what the medical drugs and shots did to you. I fell down crying, it was all too much for a kid like me at the time to witness a loved one suffering, I couldn't keep my sobs to myself when I held your cold hands, I let it all out, my mom told me that she saw you tearing up a bit while in coma upon hearing me crying, my relatives then got me out of your room and dragged me to the rest room so I can catch my breath, soon after, I came back to see you and I wish I didn't, you were dying, and in front of me. Soul leaving your body. My aunt rushed hugging me. The hospital was a mess, everyone was crying, every relative from around the country were present

Standing still, in shock, I couldn't progress what happened, you didn't just left us

?No that's not true, right

My father holding on your lifeless body, crying and shouting not to leave him alone, that added a weight on my pain. Uncle carried me to an empty rest room to have me checked, it was highly possible that I had a blood clot.

Trauma.

I cant progress what happened, how did all this happen in two hours? Two goddamn hours that changed my entire wheel of life. How?

You were my guardian angel, a second mom to me. You lived with us as long as I can remember. When my parents were working in the morning you were with me chatting, making me laugh, watching my favorite show. I cant seem to remember not a single time you were angry with me, your loving smile and heart warming laugh are the only ones stuck in my head.

Since I was a little child, drawing was my passion, and you were me number one fan, encouraging me, you were so supportive, telling everyone of how good of an artist I was. I remember this like it happened yesterday, you said this out of nowhere,

( Ghala, when I die, tell the world that " my grandma -peace be upon her- told me that one day when I grow up I will be a famous artist")" these words hurt me and made me the happiest girl in the world at the same time, first i didn't want you to die, I wanted you to be with me when I achieve my dream, our dream. And made me happy how you believed in me. They are engraved on my heart. These simple words kept me going strong and fighting for my dream, everytime I give up, everytime. You kept me strong.

Oh how much I want to hug you right now and just melt between your arms. I want to tell you how much I have improved. I cry myself to sleep missing you. People will say im overreacting but im not, whom known me since I was little could tell how me and her are close and how much I loved her she was my best friend.

I miss you. So much.

It has been 7 years grandma, 7 years.

                                                                                                           your favorite grandchild.