Formidable

October 2

That afternoon, sitting as usual at the back of the room, Dylan was not paying attention to what Mrs. Stason was saying. He loved to read, but to analyze the turns of phrase, wonder why the author had chosen to use a metaphor rather than an oxymoron, to know the reasons which led the writer to describe a wall for more than one page ... it was not anything interesting to him.

"Alright, we'll continue this next time. I have some information to share with you. As some of you know, an annual trip is organized for the seniors' year."

Shouts of joy erupted before attenuating at Mrs. Stason's request.

"However, this year we will not go to London as last year's students did. This year the trip will be to Paris."

This time she did nothing to stop the reaction of the teens. Dylan, whose attention had been captured, listened attentively.

"Therefore, before leaving, we will study the work of Victor Hugo's 'Les Misérables'."

"We can't go on a trip without it being connected to our course?" Danny asked.

Mrs. Stason laughed. "Unfortunately not, Mr. Brown, but you'll see, you'll love this book."

***
The following week: in the staff room, Mrs. Flauger was drinking her coffee, a bundle of copies in hand. Mrs. Stason was reading a paper and seemed to be absorbed by what was written in it. She did not hear Suzana coming and jumped slightly when the latter touched her shoulder to make her presence known.

"I'm sorry Emily... I called you twice but you didn't answer..."

She looked at the paper on the table. "Is it good news or bad news?"

Emily glanced at the paper and smiled before she said: "It's one of my student's work; I asked them to write a text about something close to their heart, something they're afraid to say out loud or can't say anymore. And this student, Dylan Andeo; I think you know him, don't you?"

Suzana moved her head in a yes. "He's not really assiduous in class, but he has a real talent when it comes to writing. It's not perfect, but for a seventeen year old man it's unexpected!"

She pushed the paper to Suzana. "You should read it, it makes you think about life and the vision we have of it."

Suzana took the text in her hands; she genuinely wanted to read it. She knew Emily was not the kind of person who gave compliments easily; it intrigued her even more. What had Dylan written to make Emily so fascinated? She needed to know.

"I'm a little different now, because of her, of him and all the people I've ever met. Because of the books I've read; the songs I've listened to for hours, because of many little things. But I'm different mostly because of you. I wondered how my life would be if I'd never met you and I wish I never had. You changed me for bad; you made me someone I wasn't supposed to be. You left a trace in my soul I didn't want to have. You made me think love was a weakness, that I shouldn't cry when I'm sad, and that you acted like someone good. You lied to me, every day with your fake smile, you told me so many lies I can't remember them all. And you hurt her, you hurt her and you didn't care. I will never forgive you for that. You behaved like a king whereas you were nothing. You changed me and my future; you changed the little boy I was. You had power over me for so long; the day I was on my own I felt so lonely. You took from me what I cherished most in my life and you knew it. You knew it and you didn't care a bit. You acted like the selfish person you were; thinking everything was yours. And you were wrong. I grew up; I'm stronger now and I don't need you; but I do need her. You took her from me, because of your own stupidity you left a little child alone; facing the whole world. I wasn't prepared, I'm still not sometimes. For so long I felt out of place, like an intruder. But not anymore: I understood you have to fight for what you want in life. Not fight the way you did: you fought like a no-one.

Not too long ago I met someone; someone who turned my word upside down. I know I shouldn't but I have feelings for her. And I know I will never have her but I can't help it. I know I'll never treat her the way you treated the woman you called 'the love of your life'. I'm not like you; I thought I was, but I'm not. I chose not to be like you, I can decide what I want to be in my life. My past doesn't have anything to do with how I treat people. You almost destroyed me, you know, but I came back stronger of this. And I hate to say it, but you made me stronger than I could have ever been.

I'll never tell her how I feel toward her, because I don't have the right to love her, but I do. I wish she could see me the way I see her. She's not perfect and that's one of the reasons I fell in love with her. Her imperfections make her perfect in my eyes. And sometimes I wish I could forget her, just like that, but it's not how it works. I will stay in the dark and make sure she's happy. I will not force her to love me, like you did.

I was a little different because of you. Now I'm a little different because of her."

Suzana read it twice, close to tears. She was shaking slightly, and said nothing. Mrs. Stason broke the silence first.

"I don't know who the letter's receiver is but it's obvious he hates him... And this girl is lucky, don't you think Suzana?"

Her mind was racing, who was this girl and why was she jealous? She wondered why he would not tell her.

"Yes, Emily, you're right, she's lucky. I didn't know he could write like that... He's full of surprises..."

She gave Emily back the paper. She wanted to ask him about this, but she did not want to tell him she had read it. She knew she was not supposed to.

Her daydream, still vivid in her head, made her blush and she decided to leave the room before anyone noticed.

***