Black Sunshine

Chapter 1

{This chapter contains drug use}

I never thought I could feel this numb. The smoke filled my lungs and with every puff of my blunt the pain seemed to subside and I felt nothing. Empty. Some times the pain becomes too much, and it gets to a point where you can't feel anymore. The sounds around me became one loud buzzing and I couldn't take in any of my surroundings.
"Harry!" I could hear someone shouting me "Harry!" I couldn't make out who it was and then their blurred face came into view. Fake blonde hair, bright blue eyes, it was Niall
"Harry!" he exclaimed pulling the blunt from between my thumb and ring finger.

"Harry, you can't just do this again, when things don't go your way this is not the way to go. You told me you were clean, the whole band thought you were clean."
This was typical of Niall, he gets mad in the moment, he does try and support me though, I just don't think he understands. I don't think anyone here does, no one on this stupid fucking tour. I'm still slumped on the ground feeling sorry for myself, its embarrassing, but I couldn't give one anymore.

"You don't fucking get it do you? Niall I need that, I need the drugs it stops the pain. You're all so happy on this tour, so perfect, well no not me. Do you have any idea what goes on in my head!? No, so just fuck off"  I've started shouting now consumed in rage, my fist screw up into balls. I can see the fear glossing over in Niall's eyes but he knows that I would never hurt him. You wouldn't hurt him would you? My subconscious questions me. I hardly even know myself anymore and I have no controller over myself. So much for feeling numb huh?

"Woah lad calm down, everything is going to be okay let's get you back inside to our room. All of us boys can have a laugh, how about that?" Niall reassures me and pulls me up. I feel a bit dizzy as the hit I've just had swirls around in my head. I stumble my body trying to pull me back to the ground, trying to tell me not to go inside or see the band. " Harry, you good there? "

"Yeah Nialler I'm fine, just stood up too quick you know."

"Yea right," he chuckled knowing Ive lied "cmon let's get into the bus it's cold out here, hurry up"

I comply and follow him, even though I'm filled with a sort of dread. Niall opens the door to our tour bus. I see Liam and Zayn but no Louis. I don't really think Louis likes me anyway and I've never really understood why, Ive always been nothing but nice to him and when the band was first formed during boot camp I always felt drawn to him I just never knew why. I shrug my thoughts off and sit down with everyone. Zayn hands me a Strongbow. I open it take a sip. Something else to ease the pain in my head. I needed something to stop the pain in my head.

{Authors note ~ so that was the first chapter please tell me if it was any good. Did I go into the storyline too quickly or not? Please feel free to leave any comments.
Lots of love
~Katie}