He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

3rd Petal

          Luxury, wealth, elegance, magic, and long-lasting love. The scent of the purple roses grows faint. The outer petals began losing their color and aged into a warm brown crisp while the heart of the flower was still fresh and soft to the touch. It has already been a few days since I received them.

          Although the bouquet had started wilting, the mesmerizing color of purple continues grabbing for my attention. I had always loved the color of blue and purple. They represented fantasy, magic, and long-lasting love.

          I'm a dreamer, a romance fantasizer. I dream of the day a guy would confess his love to me like in those romance novels or in those novels. Oh, a girl can only dream. I have yet to fall in love and the only falling I have ever done was tripping over my own two feet.

          My first class got canceled this morning, allowing me to get extra sleep in the morning. It was still a while before my next class started so I decided to get in a little studying. Chemistry has really taken a toll on me. Instead of studying at home, I'm gonna head to the campus library.

          I grabbed my phone and tapped away. My screen rang, waiting for Lucas to answer. My room was silent, nothing but the ringing of the phone near my ear. My finger tapped against the back of the device.

"Yellow~"

"Hey Lucas. You busy?"

"Mmm nah. Just finished class. Why? Need a ride?"

"Mhm. You know me. Please and thank you."

"What if I said no?"

          I frowned and pulled my phone away from my face. I used my free hand and punched my phone a few times. Lucas' laugh was heard on the other end.

          "Haha Alright alright. I'll be there in a few." and with that he hung up. Looking around, my room was a mess. Different clothes laid in different spots of my room. I'll clean up when I get back.

          Taking from my closet, I wore a plain white boxed t-shirt and tucked it into a pair of shorts. I took one of my plaid button-ups and wrapped the grey shirt around my waist. Finishing off the look with my grey cap. Not too bad if I do say so myself.

          I ran downstairs with my backpack in hand. I sat on the floor to put on my white sneakers. Right then, the doorbell rang. I knew it was Lucas, but just to make sure, I checked the window secretly. I may sound paranoid but I have been raised thinking everyone was a kidnapper. Better to be safe than sorry.

          Opening the door, I greeted Lucas with a big smile. We stared at each other and then looked down at ourselves. It was as if I was staring into a mirror only to see the guy version of myself. I pointed at him and exclaimed.

"Hey. You stole my outfit." Lucas only chuckled.

          He wore a plain white t-shirt, topped with a nice denim jacket. Ripped dark jeans with his own plaid shirt tied around his waist. A red cap was turned backwards and rested on his head.

          "Just to show how much we think alike." Lucas said as he patted my head. He pushed me toward his car and opened the door for me. I got in and placed on my seatbelt. Lucas got in the driver's seat and started the engine. The car growled to life and then we were off.

          It didn't take long to reach the campus since my family lives pretty close. Throughout the car ride, Lucas and I were talking about our classes. Lucas was majoring in Computer Science. I honestly didn't know where he was gonna go with that but I had my own problems to figure out.

          I wasn't exactly thriving in my CHEM class. Lucas suggested the one thing I was afraid of. Tutoring. Going to tutoring always made me feel stupid. What choice did I have? If only Lucas and I were in the same major, then we could have studied together.

          The sky was partly cloudy. Lucas and I were walking towards the library, deep in conversation. Our legs taking us to wherever. In this case, our wherever was to the library.

"Tutoring can't be that bad. Plus, you can work on socializing with others."

I humphed and crossed my arm in dissatisfaction.

"I don't need to socialize. I have you."

          "Are you gonna shy away in an interview or when you become a pediatrician, you're going to shy away from kids?"

          I had no comeback. Lucas was right. I had to step out of my comfort zone. Besides, I wasn't about to let my anti-social self fail just because I didn't want to talk to someone who I even know and could possibly be mean, ruthless, or even bite.

          Funny right? I was one of the smart kids in elementary school and I was instructed by the teacher to tutor this one kid, who I rarely talked to, in my class. I'm a very patient person but this boy was on another level. I was fed up with him and snapped. Guess what he did next. HE BIT ME! His teeth marks were evident on my arm.

          I rubbed my arm and shuddered at the memory. I headed to the help desk to sign up for one of the tutoring sessions. There was one open for 5:00pm Thursday of every week. I don't have much to do today so I'll just sign up for today.

           I finished filling out the application. Lucas then walked me to class and headed back to the library since this was his off period. Class went by pretty quickly. I would get how to do everything and then mix everything up because of my overthinking brain.

          I constantly checked my phone for the time. Everything started to feel as if they were speeding up. Too fast for my liking. Ironic right? Usually people would be so glad that the time flew by fast when in class. Don't get me wrong, I think the same, just not today. As 5:00pm draws nearer, my anxiousness grows and my stomach feels queasy.

You can do this Mia. . .

Hopefully.

          The tutoring session was being held in one of the study rooms in the library. The rooms are on the second floor. The cream tiled floor of the stairs suddenly looked so big. I walked up the stairs, clutching onto my books. Oh darn, I forgot to check which tutor is signed up for. I only looked at the date and forgot to check who would be unlucky enough to deal with my awkwardness.

          The sound of my footsteps echoed despite the light and shy steps I took. The echo seemed to get louder as if taunting me. I finally reached the top of the stairs and headed towards the study rooms.

          Most of the rooms had groups that were working on projects and assignments. I walked to the last room. There a person sat alone with their back faced away from the window. It was a guy.

Great. Now I have to talk to a random person and he's a guy. How awkward can this be.

          His black backpack stood on the floor by his shair. He wore a white collared long sleeve topped off with a grey vest sweater. The door was slightly opened and on the door was a piece of paper. On the paper was a neatly written:

Tutoring. Thursday 5:00

Oh great.

          I sighed and made my way towards the room. I took a deep breath and knocked light on the door. A warm voice was softly heard from inside.

"Kim Soo-in Mia?"

"Yes?"

"Right on time, come in."

          I slowly pushed the door open and slid through the small opening. I closed the door behind me and took my seat on the other side of the table. I settled myself down, trying to be as quiet as I possibly could. I was so self-conscious right now. I probably look stupid.

          I took out all my textbooks and notes and laid them on the table. I looked up to see my tutor. A small gasp escaped from my lips.

There was no mistake. It was him.

"Flower boy?"