Tainted Love (Jenlisa)

TL 11

Despite Lisa's words, Jennie got closer to her and held her wet face with both hands. Lisa shook her head furiously and started pushing Jennie off, trying to break free but Jennie just applied more pressure, holding her head in place and making Lisa face her.

"Let go of me!" Lisa screamed, still trying to push Jennie off of her.

"Stop." Jennie said but Lisa didn't stop.

"Stop!" Jennie screamed, making Lisa's eyes widen in surprise and finally making her stop. Jennie was looking right into her eyes, Lisa could see a fire there that almost scared her. Jennie was mad.

"You're right, Lisa. It wouldn't be hard for me to find another girl. Actually, it would be quite easy for me to try and replace you."

These words hurt more than a knife and Lisa found herself trying to break free again, but Jennie held her head a little tighter between her hands and continued talking.

"I can't though. I could never replace you, Lisa. You..." Jennie growled loudly, letting go of Lisa's head and running her hands through her own hair, pulling at it, before smashing her palms on Lisa's car at the sides of Lisa's head.

"What are you doing to me?" She whispered with her teeth gritted.

Lisa cowered a little. "Jennie... you're scaring me."  She whispered.

Jennie let out a humorless laughter, pulling her hands off the car and letting her arms hang by her sides. "I'm scaring you? I'm scaring myself, Lisa!" She sighed and took a couple steps back, not wanting to scare Lisa any more. Last thing she wanted was for Lisa to be afraid of her. She would never hurt her. At least not physically, she'd kill herself before doing any harm to Lisa's body.

"I ran down the stairs to get to you. Fourteen fucking floors, Lisa! I almost killed myself on my way down because I was desperate to get to you. Because I simply couldn't let you leave." Jennie could feel her own eyes getting filled with tears. "I tried to hold back. I tried to let you walk away but the thought of losing you kills me, Lisa! It kills me."

The tears began rolling down her face and Jennie turned around so Lisa couldn't see her cry. Jennie never cried in front of people. Never. She had an unwritten rule to never let nobody see her cry because she hated it that people would think she's weak. and the fact that she was crying in front of Lisa right now, just proved how much the younger woman meant to her. Enough to break through her walls and make her mask fall, something that not even her wife; damn, not even her own mother; ever could.

Lisa sniffed and wiped away her tears, the sight of Jennie crying, finally making her get a grip of herself. She was out of words. Jennie had just told her it would kill her to lose her and Lisa didn't know how to process it. Did she actually mean something to Jennie? Did Jennie have feelings for her? Was it more than just sex for her as well? Lisa's head was starting to hurt. She didn't want to get her hopes too high but she couldn't stop herself from doing so. Jennie was crying. Over her. That had to mean something, that had to mean Lisa was something more than just an easy fuck to her. Jennie was desperate for her, about as much as Lisa was desperate for Jennie so it couldn't be just sex. Lisa doubt she was that good in bed.

If it was just sex for Jennie, then she would have just let Lisa walk away and find another one. But no. Jennie was there, crying for her after telling her she couldn't lose her. Jennie had ran down fifteen sets of stairs for her, risking to fall and break a bone or even worse just so she could get to Lisa before Lisa left the building. Jennie cared.

Lisa bit her lip and reached out slowly, putting her hand on Jennie's back. She felt Jennie's body stiffen under her touch as the older woman continued crying in silence. She was trying so hard not to make a sound. Lisa rubbed her hand up and down the muscles on Jennie's back and slowly but certainly, Jennie relaxed under her palm.

Lisa took another step so she was just behind Jennie and held her. She didn't think, she just acted impulsively and wrapped her arms around Jennie's body. It felt different but nice. Usually, it was always Jennie holding her like this and it felt good to be the one holding the older woman, trying to make her feel safe and comfortable.

Jennie let out a deep sigh and then she sniffed, putting her arms over Lisa's and closing her eyes, just enjoying the feeling of Lisa's warmth behind her. It felt weird but pleasant at the same time. And yes, it kind of made her feel vulnerable but for the first time in... forever, she didn't care. She didn't care to look vulnerable and weak. She didn't care about letting her walls down for Lisa and for Lisa only.

She loves her.

She couldn't keep lying to herself. She couldn't keep avoiding the thought. Jennie loved Lisa. She couldn't change the way she felt, she couldn't help it, neither did she want to. She loved Lisa and it felt good to love Lisa. And it felt good to be in Lisa's arms and there was nowhere else in the world Jennie would rather be. She wished she could stay there forever. She needed to stay there forever.

"It's not just sex, is it?" Lisa finally asked her, a couple minutes of silence later. "Please, Jennie, be honest with me."

Be honest, Jennie. With Lisa and with yourself. She told herself inside of her head, before turning her head so she could look at Lisa. "No. It's not just sex, Lisa." She told her, staring right into her beautiful eyes.

Lisa felt her heart start beating so fast, it almost felt like it would break her ribs. Her lips were dry in anticipation and she had to gather all the strength in her to make the next question. "Do you love me?"

Jennie shut her eyes tightly, turning around completely and gently pressing her forehead against Lisa's. Then she opened her eyes and their eyes met again and Lisa was looking back at her with big, expectant eyes. And at that very moment, Jennie fell a little deeper in love with her. She could tell Lisa was frightened of hearing a 'No', and yet there she was, standing there waiting for her answer. Trying to be strong even though her legs were trembling and her lips were quivering. She was so brave. So brave and so beautiful and Jennie loved her so much.

"I love you, Lisa. I really do love you." Jennie said as she stroked Lisa's left cheek with her right thumb. And again, Jennie thought that maybe she was fucking up by telling Lisa that but again, she didn't care.

All she cared about at that moment was the big, happy smile that curled up Lisa's lips and the soft, loving kiss Lisa gave her and the way Lisa held her o-so tight as she whispered: "I love you!" back at her.

****

Uwuuu ❤️

Sorry for the late update 😉