shattered (illumi x reader)

chapter 3- night songs

you think about him.

illumi.

you think about the way his eyes go wide.

you think about how you've never seen him smile.

you think about how he doesn't seem to have pupils, just deep black oceans instead of eyes.

oceans deep enough to drown in.

you think about how when he looks at you, your words drag and your breath stops.

he makes you feel weak.

you think about how he looks empty.

you think about how you feel empty.

he hasn't come to see you, or answered any of your texts. maybe it's better for you this way. to separate yourself from him quickly and efficiently. maybe this is the way to go about it.

and yet,

you feel like something is missing.

you feel like you and illumi have and unfinished story.

the truth is, you would do anything to see him smile,
just once.

and the thought that you never will makes you want to die,

it makes you feel like you're already dead.