shattered (illumi x reader)

chapter 5- until he did

as you enter the dimly lit park, you walk over to a swing set and sit down on one of 3 swings. the few lights scattered across the park are faint and some are flickering.
you look around.
you close your eyes.

you aren't sure how long you wait there sitting on the swing with your eyes closed.

it could've been hours.

it could've been seconds.

but when you do open them, you see that someone is sitting on the swing next to yours.

"illumi" you sigh.

you feel relieved.
you feel afraid

he turns to look at you and you inhale sharply.

"you never answered me." you say quietly, leaning back in your swing.

he looks up at the sky, "i don't like the way you make me feel."

"that doesn't make any sense, you were the one that came to me in the first place."

you're tired.
tired of his words that only ever hint at the truth.
tired of his inconsistency.

"yeah." he agrees, looking back out at the poorly lit playground. you can tell he's avoiding your gaze on purpose, and this tires you further.

"then why?" you ask, "you could've just told me you didn't want to talk to me anymore."

"yeah." he says again. you shake your head. just as you thought you figured out what was going on in his head, he has completely confused you again.

"i let myself think you were more than a killer, maybe that was a mistake." you whisper.
you know you're being hypocritical.
you don't have the energy to care.

you take a deep breath and a familiar emptiness welcomes you with open arms.
the distress fades away.
an icy clarity reclaims your senses.

you look at illumi and find him smiling.

smiling.

that's when it hits you,
this is the first time you've seen him smile.

you smile, too.

you smile until your cheeks hurt.

illumi looks at you silently.

"hey." you say. almost a question.

"hey." hey answers, almost an apology.

you get up out of your seat on the swing and walk until you're standing directly in front of him. he cocks his head to the side.
you take him in. eyes narrowed. face pale.
his tall lanky frame looks completely out of place curled up in a children's swing.

you look down at him,

he stares up at you.

you reach out your hand,

he takes it.