Don't Drink The Gene Juice

17

Jenna woke up to a prodding finger tapping her nose.

"Boop," Cathy laughed.

She was wearing a pair of very pink pajamas that Jenna had given her the night before. They hadn't gone against what Mom said - they'd stayed up till one in the morning, not three. But she was still really tired.

Jenna rolled out of bed - literally. She rolled to the side and made an act of tiredly falling onto the soft carpet.

"Oh c'mon sleeping beauty," Cathy gently kicked her, "let's have some fun before your parents get home."

Jenna groaned, then sprang up to her feet. She and Cathy played some StarRidge, after which They both took showers and got dressed. Cathy and Jenna than happily braided each other's hair. Jenna went for a single braid, while Cathy did two on either side.

"Wow," Cathy grinned, "I really like this look on me."

"You look cute!" Jenna complimented. "I think that personally though, I prefer my hair more loose."

"I wish I could look like this in front of Wy," Cathy frowned.

"Why can't you?"

"I... I'm just not ready yet," Cathy said. "I... I'd love to be my real self. But there's just too much in the way for me right now. I'm not sure my parents would ever want me to do a permanent change. I'm afraid they might force me into being non-binary."

"Have you thought about telling Wyatt that you're trans?" Jenna asked.

"Yeah," Cathy said. "But... it's just hard to cross that barrier. Not much more to say than that."

"I could always talk to Wyatt for you," Jenna suggested.

"No," Cathy said, "I want to tell him myself. I'm afraid that if you were to tell him, he might avoid me."

Jenna giggled. "Cathy, the guy acts like a dog. I don't think he's going to be that weirded out."

"True," Cathy said. "Is it weird that I find that kind of cute?"

"Hey," Jenna laughed, "I'm the girl who fell for a merman. If you like it, go for it."

Cathy jokingly panted like Wyatt had been doing, then laughed.

"I'm so glad that I can talk to you about this Jenna," Cathy said. "It's nice to... to have another girl to talk to. To talk to you girl to girl."

"Thanks," Jenna said. "I'm always here."

"I'm... I'm honestly surprised that you didn't reject me."

"Why would I?" Jenna asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Because I've always put out this macho attitude. First I did it because I was afraid of my feminine side, and wanted to be far away from it. Then I did it because I wanted to hide my feminine self away, trying to make it so that I wouldn't be suspected of who I really was."

"That sounds like it's really hurt," Jenna said. "So... how much of that is real? You can't be faking all of it."

"No," Cathy said, "I do love a lot of things that are seen as masculine. But so does my Mom, and my sister. Cousins too."

"That's perfectly alright," Jenna said. "You don't have to stop liking those things."

"Yeah," Cathy smiled. "In my mind... honestly, the girl I want to be is a cowgirl. I don't have cows. Or a horse though."

"But you are a cute girl," Jenna smiled.

Cathy smiled slightly in return. "No, the part that was an act is the mean side of me. That overly assertive person. I mean... some of that's my personality, but I've kind of overdone it. Now everyone thinks I'm a dumb tool that only cares about looking like a tough man."

"So you're self inflicting dysphoria."

"Yes!" Cathy suddenly burst, "and it's absolutely horrible! I wish that I could just act cheerfully like you, be smiling all the time. But I'm not that girl. I'm... I'm not a girl at all."

"No Cathy," Jenna put her arm around her, "you're a girl to me. You may not have had a permanent change yet, but I'll help you get there."

"You will?"

"I promise," Jenna said. "And you don't have to be smiling day in and day out. It feels right now like you might be trying to overshoot it."

"What do you mean overshoot?"

"You've tried so hard to act masculine," Jenna said, "that you're afraid of doing anything that's traditionally seen as masculine. Including, apprently, being kind of snarky."

"Snarky..."

"I don't mean it in a mean way," Jenna said. "I think you do like to tease and kind of be tough. As long as you try not to be mean with it, it's always been fun to have you around. I like that about you."

"That's the nicest insult I ever heard."

Jenna giggled. "There you are. That's what I like. I've known you long enough to be able to see when you're happy and having fun, and I know that is part of you."

Cathy suddenly took on a serious, stoic expression. "Jenna... being able to talk to you about this... it's untying knots in minutes that I've had tangled up in me for years."

"Do what makes you happy," Jenna said, "and kindly ask that others accept, or at least respect what you want to do."

"I don't think that will fly with my parents."

"Cathy," Jenna said, "I've helped you a lot. But I don't know your parents as well as you do. You know who can help you with this?"

"Who?"

"Your sister."

Cathy grasped her hands in nervousness. "I've thought about it."

"I think that she would really help. She was trans wasn't she?"

"Yeah," Cathy said, "but she was a lot younger when she changed. My parents will probably freak out about everything that they have to -"

"We're not talking about them right now," Jenna said. "We're talking about your sister. Do you think she would accept you?"

Cathy teared up. "Yes. Yes she would."

"I think you should assign a time that you're going to call her," Jenna said. "it will push you to get it over with."

"Yeah," Cathy said quietly.

Jenna stood up, and walked over to her door, cracking it open.

"What is it?" Cathy asked.

"My family," Jenna said in shock. "They're home early."