"i'm sorry keigo"

you knew at one point keigo would have to be gone for a while for a mission. and it did. keigo would be leaving for a week on a mission and he told you the minute he found out cause he knew your reaction would affect him in such a way and would feel terrible for not telling you sooner. the morning of the mission keigo made breakfast and woke you up early so you both could eat together for the last time in a while. "you know i'm going to be ok right ?" keigo said. "yea, i'm just worried since the last mission you went on you almost died. and that was just patrolling the area !!" you say. "i didn't almost die y/n." "then explain how i saw you on the news completely passed out with blood drenched all over you ?" with that keigo let's out a giggle and says "you got me there." "exactly" you say while giggling with him. once you both finish the breakfast you both hug each other for a while settling in the fact that you both won't be seeing each other for a while. "im going to miss you so much, and if something happens to you i don't know what i'll do." you say to him. "you won't be doing anything since nothings going to happen to me, i promise that." with that you both start to cry in each others arms but you both had to let go at some point or else keigo would be late. "y/n im going to be late, i have to let go. i'm sorry i can't hold you longer." "no it's ok, go. i don't want you to be late" you say as you wipe the tears off his face. "ok y/n. i love you. see you in a week" he says before giving you a quick kiss and leaving. as soon as he closes the door and flies off you lean on the door and fall as you start to cry. you start to mumble to yourself the same things over and over again "he's going to be ok nothings going to happen to him" so you don't break down even more then you already have. after a couple minutes you calm down and relax. you've gotten a headache from the crying so you just lay down for a bit and drift off the sleep. when you wake up you see a text from keigo. "hey y/n i made it here safe. i'll text you every couple hours to check in. if you call and i don't pick up at first im sorry but i'll call back when i have the chance. ok i gotta go so we'll talk later. love you." a smile starts to appear on your face while reading that and you respond with "ok babe ttyl good luck on the mission." you're completely relaxed after the nap and the text message so you make yourself dinner and go to sleep. it's day 2 of keigos mission and you wake up to a good morning text from him. "good morning y/n, so far nothing has happened during this mission, they just gave me a rundown of what's going to be happening and possible stuff that could happen at any time. text me when you get this since i know you sleep in a lot hahaha." he was right. he sent that message at 10:34am and it's currently 2:56pm. "morning babe just woke up. uh lmk when you get this. miss youu." he respond within a couple minutes "babeeee i miss you. how've you been. what've you been up to. tell me." you know when keigo is like this he misses you a ton. "nothings been happening. just watched tv yesterday while eating dinner then went to sleep." you didn't want to tell him what happened right after he left cause you were going to cry again if you did. "okkk. oh im sorry but i have to go rn so i'll talk to you later. bye y/n." "bye keigo." and with that you make breakfast and watch tv. later in the day at around 11:47pm keigo texts you "hey y/n i might be responding slow from this point on but i'll try to get in a good morning text or smt but that's it im sorryyy." "don't apologize it's your mission and if you get busy then you get busy it's okkk." "thanks y/n i appreciate it :)." "no problem. ttyl im gonna go to sleep earlier today." "ok y/n good nighttt." "good night babe." it's day 3 and keigos good morning text is shorter than before. "good morning babe hope you're doing well i miss you tons." "good morning keigo miss you too be safe please." and with that you go on with your day except, he doesn't respond back for the rest of the day. "he's just a busy man nothings gonna happen to him it's only the third day." you say to yourself to calm down. you don't get that much sleep that night since all you did was move around. you give up trying to sleep and just go for a little walk around the neighborhood and come back at 6:27am. you make yourself some food and eat it while watching tv. with every notification you get on your phone you always check it. that went on for about a couple hours until keigo texted back. "hey i'm sorry i couldn't respond yesterday i got really busy i'll try and respond faster ok." "ok keigo. just please be safe ok ?" "ok babe. i gtg bye. i miss you lots." "i miss you too. bye." and with that it's keigos day 4 and keigo doesn't respond for the rest of the day. it's day 5 and you haven't gotten sleep at all for the past day or so. you've been checking your phone non stop for hours and you've gotten nothing so you give it a rest and watch tv and get no sleep at all. day 6 rolled around and you haven't gotten a single text from keigo at all. he hasn't even opened it. you texted him "hey babe ik you're probably really busy so please respond when you can ok ?" you go on with your day and when you notice the sun start to set you check your phone and he hasn't even opened it. there goes another night without sleep and day 7 rolls around of keigos mission, the day he's supposed to come back and you're out of it. you contemplate whether you should see your phone or not knowing he probably hasn't texted or seen it but you still check and he hasn't seen it or replied. you feel weak from the sleepless nights going by so you try to make yourself some food to wake yourself up. you set up a bowl with boiling water and once it's hot you pick it up to put it on the counter but you tripped on something so the water falls onto your hand. you scream in agony as the water is slowly burning your flesh. you get a bowl with cold water and put your hand in it. you start to cry wondering if keigo is ok along with the pain your hand is in. your legs become numb from how weak you are so you slowly fall to the your knees making sure your hand is still in the bowl and you pass out on the floor. the second you wake up you get up and check your phone. "how in the actual fuck did i manage to sleep for 2 days..." you say out loud. even more worried keigo hasn't texted at all or seen the messages. and it's been two days since he was supposed to return. you try to take your mind off of it by bandaging up your hand. it wasn't the best but you tried and it worked. you stay on the floor for what feels like hours upon hours. you see the sun is about to start setting so you go for walk around the city. while walking you try to convince yourself that nothings wrong with keigo and that he'll be fine. but since you're still currently not in the best mental state, it doesn't work. you tried to take your mind off of it by picking at your wound till it bleeds. it worked but not as much as you'd like. you start to wander in places you don't recognize and go into many stores. you wander into a big mall and walk around and somehow end up finding your way to the staircase that leads to the roof top. it takes a while to get up there but as soon as you open the door to the roof you're greeted with a nice cool breeze that sends shivers all the way down your spine. you walk forward to the opposite side of the door and step on the thin, slightly higher edge of the roof and walk back and forth carelessly. you skip across it, spin in circles, even walking with your eyes closed. it's almost like you forgot whats been happening until it hit you and you remember. "keigo" you say breathlessly. you start to tremble so you sat down on the ledge while picking at the wound even more than before while crying. while you do that, you see the sun start to set so you stop picking at your wound, stand up on the ledge, and peacefully watch as night slowly approaches. "dammit why'd my charger have to break." keigo whispers to himself as he's flying home. as he's flying home, he sees someone standing on the edge of the roof but doesn't know it's you. in that same moment you say to yourself "if keigo isn't here then i don't want to be here either." at this point you are not yourself. with the lack of sleep and overthinking, the thought of keigo not being alive took over your head. keigo sees the person spread there arms out and says "hey. hey what're you doi-." before he can finish you lean back as you start to fall off the 70 floor mall to your inevitable death. "HEY." keigo shouts at you. you hear someone screaming at you and you face their direction and see it's keigo. keigo sees it's you and flies even faster knowing it's you. while he's flying towards you, you mouth to him "im sorry keigo." as you tilt your head back up to the sky. "Y/N YOURE NOT DYING. NOT LIKE THIS. PLEASE NO Y/N NOO." as you were about to fall on the floor that was about 20-30 feet below you, keigo makes it just in time to catch you. "keigo, it's you. it's really you, you're alive." you say happily. "yea, it is." he says as tears start to form fast as they run down his cheek. "y/n. why." "i thought something happened to you and i didn't want to live in a world that you're not in. you've helped me through so much. and the thought of you dying is too much for me." you say as your wiping the tears off his face while holding back yours "im so sorry y/n ill never do a mission like this again i don't want this happening again. i love you too much." "it's ok. just take me home. all i want to do right now is sleep knowing that you're safe." "ok y/n. i love you. and never forget that." "i love you too keigo."