The Legend of Black Wolf - Sully's Journey Home

Chapter Twelve

        Cloud Dancing sat outside the gate of the white man's sacred burial ground and watched Black Wolf pick through the markers until he found his wife. Hearing him loose control was hard enough, but seeing him collapse onto the ground and beat the dirt made him turn his back. It made him think of Snow Bird and how much he loved her. He didn't want to entertain the thought of ever loosing her.

        Most of what Black Wolf cried out was not clear to the medicine man, though he could pick out a few words. One that made him turn back around was the word 'Daddy'. He knew this was a term the white man's children would use when addressing their fathers. Black Wolf began using the word in his forlorn lament. As Cloud Dancing watched, he could see one of Black Wolf's hands covering one side with one marker, while the other hand covered another spot beside it. Two markers. Two graves.

        Daddy.  

        Black Wolf had lost his child. That was the other arrow in his heart that he had seen in the vision. Cloud Dancing turned back around and closed his eyes. It made great sense that the agony in the white man's eyes had not just been for his wife, but for his child as well. The second surely must've hurt Black Wolf more than the first, for he had not even been able to bring himself to mention the child to Cloud Dancing.

        As Black Wolf's wailing carried on, Cloud Dancing sat himself where he could see a bit of the town to keep watch for someone who might hear him. He prayed to the Great Spirit while he watched the empty road. He asked for strength to keep helping Black Wolf, now that he was here. The spirits reminded Cloud Dancing of a song that Snow Bird had often sung to their son when he had been just a babe. As he asked for blessing over both of them, thanking the Great Spirit for avoiding the tragedy that Black Wolf had to endure, he began to sing the song out loud. And, after a few times through, he could tell that the white man's crying was calming down, so he kept singing. He hoped that somehow the spirits were directing him in the right path to help this lost man. The hours passed.

        When the dim light of dawn began creeping over the hills, Sully realized that the moment had come when he had envisioned himself taking his life. This was the reason he had deserted the Army, and this was the time and place which he had promised himself would be his last breath on Earth. Loren would come to pay his respects later and find him there…

        Sully turned and saw that Cloud Dancing was still at the gate, where he had been all night. He had not anticipated the Indian, or anyone for that matter, being here when he had imagined taking his life. He had certainly never imagined a man such as Cloud Dancing risking so much to help him. He never thought anyone like Snow Bird would take the time to fashion shoes for him. She spoke not a word of his language, yet she understood enough to bring him such a gift. If she knew her shoes had helped him to the graveyard so he could kill himself, what would she think?

        He looked at the headstones as he sat up. After hours of pouring his hurt out, he was covered in dirt, exhausted, and feeling different. Oddly enough, Sully started to think of his own mother and how she had taken her life when he was just a small boy. Had she felt the same crushing sadness over loosing Pa then as he was feeling over loosing Abigail now? He thought about all the times he had needed his mother growing up, and she wasn't there to show him the way. Many times, he had been so mad at her for giving up. Would Hannah be ashamed to look down on her Pa from up in heaven, watching him give up too?

        He hadn't been concerned before about the thought of Loren finding him there, dead on Abigail's grave. But now he thought that Loren might feel satisfaction on seeing Sully's demise. Loren would think that Sully had given up; he might even feel justified if Sully were to end it all now. He still felt spiteful towards his wife's father. Loren was a hard man who only saw things his way. If Sully decided to live to make Hannah proud and ended up spiting Loren in the process, so much the better.

        He hadn't expected these thoughts, but as they came, something about his decision felt right. As he stood on shaky legs, he saw Cloud Dancing stand as well. Putting a hand on each headstone, he hung his head and prayed to the Lord above to help him through this one day. He promised each of them he would return, then very slowly walked back to the gate.

        The men said nothing, walking slowly back towards the trees as they crossed the meadow. Stumbling out of the front door of the saloon stepped a bleary eyed Hank, who thought he saw two ghosts walk out of the graveyard over by the church. Shaking his head and muttering, he wandered back inside to sleep off what he thought to be too much whiskey from the night before.

        Well hidden, Cloud Dancing led Black Wolf to a familiar copse of trees halfway between town and where his tribe was camped. It took the rest of Sully's strength to follow the deer trails they were on. Cloud Dancing picked out the hidden twists and turns as if he were reading an invisible map that was underneath the leaves and weeds. Sully barged through, snapping branches and stabbing at plants with his staff like a buffalo smashing through a corral. When they stopped, Sully leaned against the nearest tree, sweating.

        "I can't keep up with ya anymore." He panted.

        "You will rest here." Cloud Dancing said. Sully all but collapsed at the base of the tree.

        "Where are we?" Sully asked.

        "This is the…west trail close to camp." Cloud Dancing pointed towards more trees. "My people are not far. I will go to them and speak again with Black Kettle." Sully couldn't see any trail. He leaned his weary head back against the tree trunk. The past few hours had taken more than simply a physical toll; he was emotionally exhausted. His face and hair were covered in dirt, his hands hurt from beating the stones, and his head throbbed from crying over Abigail's and Hannah's graves. He couldn't describe how he felt inside; he was too worn out to think anymore.

        "Why'dja stay?" Sully asked, his throat parched. Their eyes met. As Sully's tired blue eyes locked on Cloud Dancing's wise brown eyes, the unspoken answer was known. Afraid to mention the child that Black Wolf had lost, the medicine man decided to say nothing that would spark further grief and hope that Black Wolf would rest first before they spoke any further of those who had gone to the spirit world. The silence stretched out a bit, then Black Wolf nodded ever so slightly to Cloud Dancing.

        "Rest here. I will return." Cloud Dancing ended all discussion with this command, then rose and disappeared into the maze of the woods. Even if Sully had wanted to follow, he hadn't the strength. He watched the Indian leave and took a drink of the water Cloud Dancing had left him.

        The sun was over the trees and a new day was beginning. Sully thought of the months of hiding in the woods when dawn would signal to him the time to hide and sleep. He had been afraid that men from his regiment were out searching for him then. He wondered if he would have the same dreams of Abigail now that had haunted him all those months ago. But before he could worry further, he hearkened back to the prayer he'd prayed to the Lord before leaving the cemetery. 'Lord, help me through this one day.' And, almost immediately, he fell asleep.