Bare Nerves

Part III

'Rina, you can't let him do this. It's child abuse!' I shouted, once I made sure Dad's car had turned out of the driveway.
'Stop being so dramatic, Joey. Parents pull their kids teeth out all the time. He'll just tie a string to it and pull it fast, or something like that. Look, my tooth is sore, I want it out. Dad's doing me a favour.'
'He won't just pull it with a string and you know it. He's got something else planned cause he's a sadistic fuck.' I was tired of hearing her defend our dad after all he'd done, especially to her.
'Swear jar, Joey. That's the third time today.' There was that bossy tone again.
'FUCK YOU!' I screamed, losing my temper. 'You're not my mom, you can't replace mom. We have no mom. She's dead and neither of us even know what she was like so stop pretending to be her, cause you don't know shit!' I stormed off down the hall towards my room.
'You'd think if Dad was so bad, you wouldn't wanna sound JUST LIKE HIM!' Rina called out after me. I was just about to slam my door and kick something when I realised that she was right. I was turning into my dad. Granny always said to count to ten before I lose my temper. I needed to start doing that again. I was disgusted at myself for having anything in common with my father. I paired my phone to my speaker and started to blast some nu metal music. I lay on my bed, stared at the framed photo of my mom that I kept on my nightstand, and zoned out.

Somewhere between ten and thirty minutes went by when I heard a faint knocking sound over my loud music. I jumped up and pressed pause, worried my dad was home and was about to start roaring at me. The knocking was at the front door. I got up and walked to the hallway just in time to hear the latch on the door turning.
'Hey, Dr. Frank. Dad's not here right now.' Rina said, sounding deceptively light-hearted.
'Rina, are you okay? I'm very worried about you kids being here alone with your father when he's in that sort of mood.' Dr. Frank sounded out of breath, as if he had ran the whole way here. 'Where's Joey? Is he okay?' I felt a stinging in my nose as my eyes filled with tears. I wiped my eyes on my sleeve and walked into view.
'Yeah, I'm okay.' I shrugged, nonchalantly. Dr. Frank sighed with relief and leaned on the outside wall to catch his breath.
'Listen, you guys, you should really speak to someone at Childline. I have the number here. Promise me you'll put it in both your phones and don't let your dad see, okay? The second number here is my own. If there's ever an emergency, you're very welcome to run to our house. If no one is home, call us on this number and we'll be straight there. You don't have to come in if you don't want to, we'll hang out in our garden with you while we call the guards.' He tried to hand the piece of paper with the phone numbers on it to Rina, but she took a step back. He turned to me. 'Joey, here.' I took it and put it in my pocket. 'I want you to pack some bags for the both of you and hide them somewhere safe in case of an emergency. Just some clothes and stuff you don't want to leave behind. You kids got that?' I nodded, Rina looked down at the floor. 'Okay, cool. You guys stay safe, okay?' He leaned his head back and huffed out a loud sigh before walking back up the driveway.

Rina closed the door and turned to me. Her face was a mixture of emotions. She looked angry, hurt and scared.
'Now look what you've done!' She sobbed, stomping off into the kitchen and tidying up her school books. 'They're gonna take us away from Dad.'
'Good! I hope he gets arrested!' I chuckled, cheekily. I was scared though, if Dad found out we'd been talking to someone about him, he'd be livid.
'He's our dad, he loves us, we're all he has left of a family. I don't want to go live with strangers! This is our home. This is where mom is.' Tears were streaming down her cheeks. She was really pulling at my heartstrings.
'Mom isn't in this house, Rina. Mom is a part of us. If you want us to be close to mom and not lose her, then come with me. You and me are all that's left of her so we have to stay together.' My voice wobbled and I wiped my face on my sleeve again. 'And I need you, you look so much like the photos of mom.' I put my hands in my pockets and shuffled my feet awkwardly. 'You're my stupid sister and I love you and stuff.' I was too shy to look up, so it took me by surprise when Rina suddenly wrapped her arms around me.
'I love you too.' She said, softly. The hug felt unnatural and weird. I wasn't used to affection. I pushed away and immediately regretted it when I saw the dejected look on Rina's face.
'I'm leaving next time Dad hurts either one of us.' I stated, both to Rina and to myself. Rina nodded and dried her eyes on a square of kitchen paper.
'Okay. Can you help me make us something to eat?' I wasn't sure if Rina was agreeing with me or changing the subject so she wouldn't have to argue any further. It didn't matter. I couldn't argue any more either. It was draining.
'What we havin'?' I asked, washing my hands and taking out some plates.
'Looks like tuna salad sandwiches again.' She sighed, scanning the shelves of the fridge.
'Ugh, gross. That's enough on its own to make me run away.' I joked, hoping to cheer Rina up a bit. She sniffled and giggled, but I think it was more to make me feel better than an actual expression of emotion.
'Just pass me a butter knife, you big fusspot.' She smiled at me and I made a face at her. We prepared the sandwiches and ate them quickly. I left as much of the crusts as possible and then disappeared down to my room, where I had a stash of chocolate and crisps hidden for just such an occasion. Once I heard Rina brushing her teeth in the bathroom, I snuck out and went through her school bag, taking photos of her answers on my phone. I'd copy them down later. I tossed my crusts out for the birds and loaded the dishwasher for Rina. Then I put the numbers Dr. Frank gave us into my phone and set the scrap of paper on fire, with a lighter I'd found discarded on the path the week before. I tossed the paper into the fireplace and watched the edges glow and turn to powdery flakes of pale grey ash. I was just thinking of what else I could burn when I heard the loud whirring of Dad's car, reversing at speed into the drive.