Close to heart.. far from arms...| Sasusaku

12. The gesture's tale

Itachi had been about six years old then. 

Allowed to graduate the academy in just four months, he came back to the Uchiha compound with his headband proudly standing out behind a few of his ebony hair. Sliding open the door to his house, he found his almost one year old brother happily playing with his green dinosaur plushie, his petite back facing him as his little fingers curled around the soft fabric. 

Itachi's lips lifted up in amusement. No matter how tired, upset, frustrated he was, the sight of his younger brother always made his heart warm. He watched him lift the toy high and giggle, making him chuckle as well.

"Sasuke," he called out in his fine, childlike voice, "look, I am home."

The little boy didn't look back but the older waited patiently with a smile on his face. As Sasuke was growing older, it was getting harder to get his attention. Trying once again, Itachi asked for him, "Look, Sasuke. Your big brother's here to play."

Sasuke still didn't look back, and Itachi's brows furrowed, albeit the gentle smile never left his face. His brother was so enthralled by his little toy that he failed to notice the older brother he never left when he used to be even younger. 

So, Itachi cheated a little. Taking out his headband, he used it to reflect the sunlight on the wall Sasuke was facing. His head immediately shot up at the light on the wall and he turned back, making Itachi chuckle at his cute, little brother. His large, onyx eyes gazed in curiosity at the headband, and he gave a toothed giggle before walking on his knees towards his older brother. 

As he closed the distance between them, Itachi decided to play him a little. His little hands reached out in an attempt to catch hold of the shining metal that had clearly attracted Sasuke's curiosity. But Itachi raised it a little higher, out of his little brother's reach. The small boy puffed his cheeks in irritation and Itachi marveled at his reaction.

All of a sudden, Sasuke reached out again, holding the hem of his brother's shirt with his little hands, and trying to balance himself on his small, fragile toes. Itachi watched in amazed delight at his brother's first attempt to stand on his own. He had stood earlier too, but he always required someone to help him. This time, he were trying on his own. 

His fingers brush against the cloth of the headband and Itachi raises the bar. Young Sasuke frowned, irritation visible in his clear features as he pouted. Reaching up again, he grabbed on to the hem of his shirt. Just as Itachi thought he would be going for the headband, Sasuke poked his index and middle finger on his forehead. 

As the warm but firm touch of his gentle fingers lingered on his forehead, Itachi was fazed. His heart warmed up as he looked at his little brother, who used his brother's distraction to grab his headband. Rejoicing in victory, the little one gave another toothed grin at the older one, and crawled back to his dinosaur plushie, trying to tie the metal on it.

Itachi was still in a daze. The gesture was small, maybe of no meaning to his infant brother but it was heart-warming. His lips pulled up in a smile as he touched his forehead, etching the small gesture into his memory.

Now when he looked at his brother, his eyes barely able to discern his grownup features but still knowing that he would be wounded, exhausted and terrified. He had just completed his last mission – to free Sasuke from his curse mark – and all that was left was to die. He didn't have much time left, and as if death was waiting on his dootstep, his mind started recollecting memories of his childhood. Joyful and painful.

Slowly, and with a great deal of effort, Itachi closed the distance between him and Sasuke, fingers extended to pretend as if he was going to take his eyes. His heart tore up, and pain stung him, seeing the condition they both ended up in. He wished from the bottom of his heart that this could have had a happy end; he could have cared more for his little brother.

Sorry, mother, father, I couldn't take better care of him, like I promised.

Another step closer.

I really wish I could have seen you grow up.

His legs trembled.

I really wish you could have a happy life.

He gained his balance.

I am sorry for all of it.

He was close to his brother.

I wasn't able to be a good big brother.

His hand extended.

I wish I can meet you in another life.

Sasuke's eyes opened wide.

I wish you a happy life ahead.

Itachi's bloodied hand connected with Sasuke's forehead.

Thank you, Sasuke.

Itachi smiled.

For being my little brother.

I am really sorry.

"Forgive me, Sasuke. But there will be no next time."

I will always watch over you.

His eyes lost focus, and his body lost control as his fingers glided down his face, leaving him terrified at the unexpected action of his older brother.

I was always grateful to have you as my brother. Forgive me, but I have to meet up with mother and father. Remember this, Sasuke, no matter what, I will love you the most, little brother.

The world went silent. The clouds mourned, as Itachi's spirit left his body in oeace, the only sound being the splattering of rain.

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Gomen gomen. I was soooo late. But I can't help it. I have exams now. I found time to write fortunately.

And I am crying now. I—

I was about to give up writing it because I know I can't handle bearing Itachi's death again. But I did. And now I can't stop crying.

I'll just hide in a closet or something to cry. Meanwhile, you enjoy the chapter. Thanks for reading. T~T