Something changed | Merluca

Part 6

One week has passed since Andrew had informed her that he would move out. Yesterday was the day, he had packed up his things and moved into his new apartment, just a few blocks away from the hospital. And already she found herself missing his presence. She liked talking to him, while eating dinner together or just being near to him.

And besides all the teasing of her sisters and Alex, who somehow still believed that something actually had happened between them, they were right on one point. She liked him more than she wanted to admit, and that got more evident to her the more often she found herself thinking about him, not just at work, but also at home. And she didn’t think about him as one of the other residents anymore, he was already someone… more. And the thought of that was scary at the same time.

She was shaking her head, trying to get rid of her thoughts, so she could go over the research papers she had brought to lunch with her, She wanted to spend that time useful. She retreated herself to one of the labs to have some quiet during her lunch and to not be bothered by one of her interns or for that matter one of her sisters, who seemed to only have one topic to talk about these days. As much as she loved her sisters, she could use some alone time without their comments right now.

Just as she finished the first paper and was about to move on to the next one, her phone was ringing. She was confused for a moment when she saw who it was. A Skype call from Cristina. They usually talked to each other once a week, most of the time during her lunch, since it was already evening then in Switzerland, but they had had their weekly phone call two days ago. Not that she would complain, she always liked talking to Cristina.

“Hey, did something happen?” Meredith answered curiously, putting away the papers and her food, so she could see Cristina properly.

“I can’t call my friend?” It echoed from the other side of the line, apparently Cristina was walking... or tidying something up herself. Since the image of her and her apartment was popping up in all different directions, before it finally showed her face.

“You can always call me. But just so you know, every time you do, I can’t enjoy my lunch.”

“As if the hospital lunch is enjoyable.” They both started to laugh at that.

“So, why did you call?” Meredith asked again, after their laughter got under control again.

“I’m bored. Tell me something. There must’ve been something interesting that happened.”

Well, things certainly happened in her life. Were they interesting to other people? To Cristina, probably, yes. But was she ready to dive into that? But, she really needed to figure this out herself soon, because when Andrew had left her house, after he had put all his things in his car, he had come back and asked her to -

“Mer?” Cristina asked again, when she noticed that her friend got lost in her thoughts somewhere.

“You do know that in a period of two days there isn’t much that happened?” Meredith tried to counter with a smile.

“You are being weird.”

“I’m not.” Again, the denying it altogether. She knew that this tactic might work with Alex or her sisters, (or her kids) but not with Cristina, she knew her too well for that. How she wished, she could eat the cafeteria lunch instead right now.

“Oh, Mer, just spill it.” Cristina was rolling her eyes, knowing exactly what Meredith was doing.

“I-“ she was hesitating for a moment, thinking about how to put it best “I might have met someone.” Well, clearly, she didn’t just meet Andrew… But what else should she have said ‘I have a crush on a resident, who slept on my couch after a patient brought weed cookies to the hospital.’ She couldn’t explain it herself, she only knew that somehow, something changed that evening and the following days.

“I’m happy for you, Mer.” Meredith smiled at her friends response, until… Wait, that wasn’t a reaction Cristina would have, not that she had doubts that her friend would be happy for her. She knew that Cristina would be happy for her, but…

“You knew about this?!” Meredith almost exclaimed, with a disbelieving smile.

“Of course, I knew. I’m your person.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I wanted you to tell me, when you were ready.” Cristina now gave her a genuine smile, what didn’t happen that often.

“So, you ambushed me and forced me to tell you?” Meredith was laughing, while shaking her head disbelieving.

“If you hadn’t wanted to tell me, you wouldn’t have done so, Mer. But, I’m glad you did.” Cristina was getting a bit more serious, while looking at Meredith. And Meredith knew that she was right, and she somehow felt relieved that she told Cristina. But, really, why could her sisters AND ALEX not keep one thing to themselves.

“So, tell! Is he good?” Cristina was breaking the moment.

“What? No! Cristina!”

“What? He isn’t good or you haven’t –“

“Cristina!” Meredith exclaimed once again, this time her tone must have gotten through to her.

“We haven’t met, yet. Not in that way.” Meredith added in a little lower voice.
“You really like him, don’t you?”

“He invited me to dinner this evening. To inaugurate his new apartment.” Meredith answered instead. Even though, she had come to the conclusion that she liked him herself, it was something quite different to admit to it out loud. Especially since every admission that this could be more to her than just a little crush, scared her more and more.

“Make sure you get a proper tour through his apartment, especially to the bedroom.”

“Cristina, can you be serious for one minute, please?”

“I am serious.” Cristina protested, but eventually gave in, when she received an unamused look from Meredith. “Fine. But Mer, you know that I’m happy for you, and if he makes you happy then maybe you should give him a chance.” She continued more serious again. After a moment she added “Even though he is a RESIDENT.” Not being able to stop herself from at least teasing her once about it.

…

Saying she was nervous was an understatement. Meredith had spent the whole morning at work thinking about the evening. And once she was home, she had spent the early evening with getting ready and picking out clothes for her dinner. Her sisters telling her that it could very well be called a date and not just dinner, didn’t help either. As if she wasn’t aware of the fact that it was homemade dinner at his place, just the two of them.

But that’s what she wanted, right? She had been the one who had asked if they could have dinner at some time, because she ‘liked spending time with him.’ And she did like spending time with him. If only it wouldn’t feel like it was getting more serious so fast.

She was standing in front of his door, trying to get her nerves under control once again, before she put up the courage to knock at his door. A few moments passed, until she heard footsteps on the other side and then the door swung open.

“Hey.” Andrew greeted her, with a warm smile.

“Hi.” She answered, looking up at him.

“You want to come in.” He invited her inside after she didn’t make any move.

“Yeah, sure.” She chuckled slightly, trying to cover her nervousness, which might have led to her brain not functioning for a moment, and therefore staying outside just looking at him, instead of going in. But once he let her in, and took off her coat, leading her to the main room, her nervousness started to fade. Seeing him and his smile, smelling the delicious dinner he had cooked, the by now familiar feeling of his presence taking over, until she found herself smiling, too.

And he might not have shown an interest or attraction to her the first few days, probably because this was new for him as well, and it also might have had something to do with the fact that she is his boss, but now he was showing it to her. Not in the obvious ways, for which she was grateful, because she wasn’t sure if she could handle too much right now, while she was trying to not freak out at where this evening could go; But the two candles on the table, or the slow music in the background, the smiles he was giving her now, the looks they shared, all this didn’t escape her, and she found herself liking it.

After they finished their dinner, talking about work, their sisters and on the surface about their families, not going into too much drama, they put the plates in the kitchen, before going back to the living room.

“Do you want me to give you a tour?” Andrew asked her after a moment.

“Yes.” Besides agreeing, she was hesitating a moment, thinking about her conversation with Cristina from earlier, because as much as she liked how the evening went so far, she wasn’t sure she was ready for more just yet. But him showing her around, didn’t necessarily mean that more has to happen. It just meant spending more time together, right? “I would like that.”

“So, you have already seen the kitchen and living room and there isn’t much more, except for the bedroom over there and” now he was pointing in the other direction, to the stairs “up there is another room and a small balcony”  Andrew showed her the balcony, much to her relief. From there you could see the night sky with its stars and in the daylight, probably the neighborhood.

Cristina would have been so disappointed by the room tour, but Meredith couldn’t have imagined it in a better way. She wondered herself when she became the girl who was nervous about getting to know a new man and enjoying just standing next to someone looking at the sky for a moment.

“Do you want a glass of wine?” Andrew offered her, once they were in the living room again, which she accepted, before they sat down on the couch.

Meredith was looking around, there were still a few cartons standing around, that weren’t unpacked, yet. On the other side was a bookshelf, that was half filled with books. She let her gaze wander along the wall, where two paintings were already hanging, until a guitar caught her attention.

“You play guitar?” she asked, looking at him again.

Andrew chuckled slightly at her surprise, before he answered “Yeah, I started to learn it, when I was a kid. I don’t play as often as I used to, but I like playing from time to time.”

“I didn’t know that.” She said with a soft voice, meeting his eyes with a small smile on her face.

“Yeah.” He was holding her gaze for a moment, before looking in the room again. “My mom taught me how to play it. When she passed away-“ he paused for a short time “I stopped playing for some time, but I try to do it more often again.” He turned his head slightly, so he could look at her again.

“I’m sorry.” She could hear the vulnerability, he tried to hide, in his voice. She already knew, that he liked his mother very much, but he just showed her another layer of his life, his family, of him.

“It’s okay. It was a long time ago.” He added with a smile to assure her that he was okay.

“Do you want me to play something?” Andrew asked after he took another sip from his glass of wine. He must have caught her gaze wandering back to the guitar again.

“Only if you want to.” She probably was a bad liar, because she really wanted to hear and see him play now that he had made her curious, but she didn’t want to push him either after he told her what it meant to him.

“Okay.” Andrew went up to get the guitar and then sat down again. After playing a few single tones, he started to play a song for her.

Meredith was leaning back against the back of the couch tucking her feed up there, turning slightly towards Andrew, taking in the melody he was playing, enjoying the moment.

She didn’t know what made her smile more, seeing how passionate he was while playing the guitar or the fact that he was playing for her. She settled for a mix of both. And decided to enjoy the rest of the song, before it was over, resting her head on her hand with her elbow on the couch.

“That was beautiful, Andrew.”

“Thank you.” He answered, putting the guitar behind the couch, sitting down a little closer to her.

“Thank you for playing” She said, meeting his eyes, still a little overwhelmed by what happened.

He held her gaze for what seemed like an eternity, and then he slowly leaned in closer. She could feel his hand covering her arm that was leaning on the couch. Feeling the warmth from his touch. Her gaze flickered down to his lips for a second, before meeting his eyes again. Scared of what was about to happen, but not wanting to get out of this moment at the same time.

“Andrew.” It was just above a whisper. A last attempt to try to bring them to their senses, that this might not be the best idea. But if her feelings told her anything, than that this was all she wanted to happen.

Except for the small part, her fear, that seemed to get bigger and bigger the longer this, whatever this between them could be called, went going on, the more serious their in the beginning innocent moments got.

But before she could think any longer, she felt herself moving closer meeting Andrew halfway until she felt his lips against hers. Almost tenderly. Slowly bringing her closer by gently resting his hand on her neck.

She almost let herself go in the feeling, when the way it made her feel suddenly overwhelmed her to a degree that scared her. When the voice in her head, her fear, got louder again. And then when Andrew tried to deepen the kiss, that part of her won, and she pulled away.

“I-I’m sorry, Andrew.” She put her hand on his chest, to keep him at a distance, but at the same time, taking comfort from the touch. She knew it wasn’t fair to him, but she couldn’t help it in that moment.

She was staring at him for a long moment, fighting against the part of her that told her to run away. To leave.

Andrew was still looking at her, confused and probably shocked by her sudden change, but also something like worry visible on his face. She could see that he wanted to say something, when she quickly interfered.

“I should go, look after my kids.” She stood up from the couch, taking her coat. She knew it was a terrible excuse, since her kids were in bed, before she left. But in this moment she needed time and space.

“Good night, Andrew.” She awkwardly turned around one more time, feeling bad to just leave him like that, before she went to the door. Leaving a confused Andrew behind.