You've said this five times today
and I chose to ignore it
I chose not to say anything back
but not this time.
It's like you think telling me how shit I am will magically make me better,
but it won't.
And now I'm trying to filter through all my thoughts and feelings
to make coherent sentences,
but I also can't tread too deep,
else I blow your top.
Really, I can't say anything I want to
because you'll stop me halfway through.
You'll tell me I'm wrong
and I don't want to hear that from you.
I'm talking to you and it feels like I'm talking to a child,
one wrong step and you'll be throwing a tantrum.
Now my brain is so full
and I'm about to explode,
but you won't fucking leave me alone
because if one thing goes wrong
in this world you proposed,
you'll come back to correct it.
I'm not fucking free here,
It feels like a prison
and all I want to speak my own mind,
but you're too much of a goddamn baby
to let me cry.
So father,
Are you proud of yourself?
Have you protected your pride
by destroying mine?
Perhaps next time I'll be more prepared for this battle that is waged within our walls,
but it's always an ambush
if you ignore it's calls.
Written an hour and a half before my essay was due
10/11/20
YOU ARE READING
Feelings, maybe?
PoetryI have been writing down my feelings after any event that I had been emotionally affected by. They come out as slightly cryptic, half-poems, so I guess I'll post some of them here. Most of them will have dates because I might not post them in order.
