verse forty-nine

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I wipe my tears away and take a deep breath when we arrive at Damon's house. The sky is dark, and I see the party has already begun. "Are you sure we don't have to come with you?"

I look at Moonlight and nod. "Yes, I'm sure." He nods and starts walking away with Hakan. I walk on the gravel path and clench my hands into fists.

Right when I've passed the middle of the path, I see Damon walking out of his house with a couple of Souls trailing behind him.

He's laughing at something they said, and his eyes meet mine. His smile widens, but slowly fades when he sees my expression and frowns.

Another tear rolls over my cheek, and I see him say something to his friends before he walks over to me. 

Above us, I hear the thunder raging wildly, and then raindrops that fall on us. They feel fresh against my skin.

"Angel, what's wrong? I was about to pick you up," he says. Without thinking, I lift my hand and slap him across the face. "How could you?" I ask with a trembling voice.

Perplexed, he brings his hand up and touches his jaw. "What?" he asks surprised. I spread my wings.

"This, Damon! How could you do this?" I scream at him. The rain is pelting down on us, and I see a guilty look take over his features. I let the tears fall.

"You took my wings," I whisper, still not able to comprehend it.

"Angel, I..."

I turn my face away from his and breathe out.

"I... I trusted you," I laugh. "I feel so stupid. Trusting the Devil? That's the worst thing you can do," I say and wipe another tear away.

Desperation fills his eyes, and he sighs. "Damon, you took my wings," I sob, and look back into his eyes. The tears roll over my cheeks, mingling with the raindrops.

He wants to take me in his arms, but I back away. "Don't touch me," I hiccup. 

"Angel, I don't know what I could've done otherwise," he says. "You could've talked to me! You could've told me," I sob. He growls.

"Angel, listen! Don't you see it? If you stay, you can make me good again. I want to be good for you! Without you I'm... nothing," he sighs. I bite my trembling lower lip and let the water soak me.

"You hurt me so much," I hiccup, not having the strength to raise my voice.

"I know, baby. But who can have a better influence on me than an Angel? I'll just keep you close to me, and you'll know what to do! I don't feel lonely when you're around. Thanks to you I don't believe I'm a monster anymore. You see the real me. Please," he begs.

But I don't listen to him.

"Why do you keep hurting me, Damon? Do you like to see me suffer? Do you enjoy it?" I ask and wipe a tear away. He shakes his head.

"Don't you see it, Angel?" he asks.

"See what?" I scream, frustrated, and angry.

"That I'm in love with you?" he yells back, his voice echoing between the trees.

I'm speechless, only able to stare at him with parted lips and surprise written all over my face.

"What?" I whisper. He walks over to me and grasps both my cheeks between his large hands. "I'm head over heels for you," he whispers and sighs in relief.

The tears keep coming.

"Don't cry," he says, and wipes a couple of tears away, "the tears of an Angel are precious, and shouldn't be wasted. I should've told you that the first time you cried."

"Damon," I whisper, sobbing.

"I'm yours, and I always will be," he whispers and presses a kiss against my forehead.

"You hurt me so much," I repeat. He sighs. "I was desperate, Angel."

We fall through a hole, and suddenly we're in his room. I keep on crying, and I feel his arms wrap around me. I lay my head against his chest and let my tears fall onto his shirt.

"My wings mean so much to me," I hiccup, and try to steady my breathing. I'm so furious at him, but I don't know what to do.

"Don't leave me, baby," he murmurs, and his fingers wrap around my chin and force my face up. Our lips merely brush over each other when I pull away.

"No," I whisper, and feel another tear slip over my cheek. He sighs.

"I did it because I'm selfish, Angel. I can't let you go, never. You're... you're the light in my life. I won't ever hurt you again. I swear. But, stay. Please," he begs. I swallow.

"You could've asked me," I whisper, "and I would've been the happiest girl on Earth. In the whole universe, even. If you just asked."

His face falls. "How did you do it?" I ask.

"Angel..."

"I deserve to know, Satan."

He flinches. "Please, don't call me that."

"But it's your name, right?" I ask humorlessly. "Now tell me. Was it with Hakan's blood?"

He sighs heavily and nods. "Ian was the one that gave me the idea to let your wings die."

"I knew he had something to do with it," I say. He looks up and frowns.

"He didn't do it on purpose. It was when he was about to cut your wings off. If you didn't have your wings you would've been stuck here. For a second, I wanted to let him do it, but it would've been too painful. Fuck, I sound so fucked up," he groans and rakes a hand through his black hair.

But he continues anyway.

"It was hard to poison you. I know how much you love your wings, but I need you, Angel. Don't you realize that?"

"I-I," I say, but nothing else will come. His blue eyes stare into mine, begging for forgiveness.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this," I say, and rush out of his room. I push my way through the Souls and run into the cold rain. 

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