Depression

Cutting

I lay on my bedroom floor, twirling a knife around in my fingers. I think about what I used to say "if I kill myself I'll never come back" it's almost as if every time I think of those words they go right to my head like a balloon that doesn't have a not a bottom, all the air comes right through. I think to myself how life is not worth living when nobody loves you, need you, or cares about you. My mom you say to me when I was little enjoy your life, you never know when it will end... But now I have a pretty good idea of it. I slowly gripped my fingers around the bottom of the knife and slowly softly, and carefully lay the sharp edge of the knife on my wrist. I thought about my words One last time, and likably all the air came right out it didn't work it didn't mean anything. I pressed firmly on the knife and slit across my wrist "what the hell are you doing Emma stop right now I'm telling mom you are crazy!" Jenna screamed at me as she walked in on me cutting. I knew this would happen in the back of my mind I kept the note that said somebody's gonna walk in. My mom walked into the room and automatically started to scream, but not about me, about the red stain on the white carpet. I knew my mom didn't care about me she always said to me especially today that I was born on the street, because that's where all the accidents happen. Bringing back the thoughts in my head about being dropped off by FedEx or being adopted, stuff like that I remembered that nobody cared about me except for my dad. I had a pretty good idea that my sister didn't want me to be hurt but she didn't love me that's for sure. my mom and sister left the room and all I thought about was feeling the amazing feeling of cutting. I Ran the knife threw 1 more time and then put down the knife and left the room