Chapter One

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by NekoCatGirlUWU

by NekoCatGirlUWU

*Dedicated to my ex-lover*

Obama Brock whispered sensually in Bencil Sharpener's ear.

"You may not be pregnant like me, but I was hoping I could change that today ;) "

Bencil sweat heavily from his brow. His face flushed as Obama Brock stared deeply into his eyes. When he tried to look away, Obama seized his face and pointed his chin up with his finger. "It's your decision, Ben." Bencil looked at his feet. Then at Obama.

Bencil finally said, "Gimme that bussy liberal lmao"

Obama blushed as he stared into Bencil's deep brown eyes. "I love you" ... do,, do you wanna""File taxes? I was thinking the same thing you son of a bitch"

"Well, I was thinking of... other adult things..."

Bencil had never been this flustered in his entire life. Instantly, a wave of common sense flushed over him.

"Hypothetically, let's say you're going to regret this," his imaginary best friend, the creation of his schizophrenia, said to him. "What about your doctor wife, your wife who is a doctor, and your half doctor half Orthodox Jew children? You can't do this to them, Bencil. You just can't."

Bencil knew that his subconscious's final sad attempt at talking sense into him was right. But, he just couldn't resist it -

"Shut up libtard. There are things more important than fate. This is about reality. Facts don't care about your feelings, and the fact is that I have the option to fuck Obama. Obama fucking Brock." He whispered to himself.

"Did you say something, bb grill?" Obama said. "If you're going to make any noise, meow for me, Ben bitch. Come here kitten."

*Bencil purrs*

bencil slowly gets grabbed my obamahe purrs in happiness"you like that bencil""i know you do"

"stick a pencil into my sharpener Obama"

"anything for you hottie"

*Ben starts pissing violently*

"Let's do this... math test together"

CANON LAW: BEN SHAPIRO IS A PISSY BOTTOM

*obama opens his mouth*

"When you're with me, I'll make you believe that 1 + 1 is 3"

'oh, obama...'