Back For Her: An Irish Mafia Romance

Back for Her

Kylie's POV:

Since the night of the party, I have barely left my room, mostly due to the humiliation from spilling my guts literally and figuratively to Callahan like some hormonal teenager. I can't believe I said all that... And to Callahan. I'm just relieved no one else was around to see that. It's like my mind just went blank and stopped being able to control the words that just started spilling out. And on top of that, I threw up all over my shoes and my dress, after only having two damn drinks. But something tells me it wasn't the alcohol. And I have spent the last few days trying to figure it out. I have never been like this... I can't seem to rid myself of this aching pit in my stomach either. Everything I eat seems to come right back up five minutes later.

Attempting to sleep is a fucking joke and pretty much torture. All I dream about is Jackson and how it felt when he touched his lips to my ear... And the sparks that shot through to my core when he ran his fingers down my arm. I swear I can still feel the sensation, and it is killing me. Those blue eyes that I had managed to rid from my mind for so long were now all I could think about. It only took a few minutes alone and a little light touching to have me falling right back into his arms again... Almost. Luckily, I came to my senses. Was he really just trying to manipulate me for answers? He could have just asked me. But that has never been the Jackson way.

And why do I feel this way about Jackson but not about Alex? My every thought has been consumed with only thoughts of Jackson... I just don't get it. I was always equally obsessed with them when we were younger. Or was I? Is it because Jackson got to touch me longer? And with his fucking mouth none the less. God, that mouth... And I just have to say he is certainly not a kid anymore. The little bit of dark hair that he let line his perfect jawline the other night was all it took to get my juices flowing. And he had to have gained at least fifteen pounds of straight muscle mass because his arms were twice the size as they used to be. And if he wasn't fucking tall enough in high school, I'm pretty sure he grew an extra two inches since I last saw him. I wonder if anything else grew a few inches... Not that he ever needed the extra inches.

Fuck. No matter how hard I try, my thoughts always go back to him. I keep flashing between the hot touching and his accusations that all I ever cared about was fucking him. He can't possibly believe that... I guess I did mess with his head jumping back and forth between him and Alex... I could always tell it hurt him more than Alex, and I was too selfish to care... I would have probably left me too. I'm thankfully pulled from my thoughts by a sharp knock on the bedroom door.

"Come in," I shout from my bed, scooting under the covers so whoever it is can't see me in just my panties and a t-shirt. Please just be Callahan. He has given me space for the last few days and hasn't mentioned a word about that night. He was probably a little embarrassed too. He has never seen me like that. No one has. Just like I thought, Callahan pushes open the door peeking his head in to make sure it's alright to come in before shuffling through the doorway to stand at the end of the bed. He just stands there looking around the room, probably at a complete loss for words. I decide I need just to clear everything up, so he doesn't feel like he has to watch over me like I'm going to throw myself from the balcony.

"Listen, Callahan... I'm sorry about the other night. I don't even know why I freaked out like that. It was unprofessional, and it won't happen again." I feel so bad I put him in that position. He probably had no idea what the hell to do. A concerned look crosses his face before he shakes his head briefly and moves around from the front of the bed to sit down a couple of feet away from me on the edge of the bed. I look down at the comforter playing with the fabric, not wanting to meet his eyes. I almost feel how I used to feel when I would have one of my teenage girl hormone fits, and my Uncle would come to talk with me. He knew my father was a loser and that going so long without a responsible male presence in my life fucked me up a little... Daddy issues.