3: 17

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by beingLucy

by beingLucy

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I remember meeting and seeing him for the first time and thinking... oh my goodness.

I'd never met someone like him.

People like him only exist in movies... in books.

I remember waiting at 9:15am outside my World History class just to watch him pass by.

I remember standing by the locker at the end of the day and pretend to search for something when in reality I was waiting for him to get there... just so I can see him one last time before I went home.

Just one last look.

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I remember how he smiled and the few times I talked to him at an awards ceremony.

Yet somehow, I felt the strongest pull towards him.

Something I still can't explain or understand why.

How could someone who I shared barely any words with... how could they affect me this much?

Why did my heart- why DOES my heart feel like it's been crushed?

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I remember how smart he was and kind.

How... good he was.
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I remember the last day I saw him.

Again I waited by my locker... and he was there too... and we made eye contact as he took a different way out the building and passed right next to me.

I remember thinking... why go this way? He always walks the other way.

I remember feeling weird.

"Why do I feel strange?"

I remember thinking this.

"Why do I feel like this?"

I was 15 when I met him. He was 17.

I'm 19 now... he's still 17 somewhere up there.

——-m iss y ou M———