The Cost Of Deceit

Chapter 13

While wearing his best sweater and sunglasses, Elmer made his way to the East Side library. It was a rather large building, and it was so beautiful outside you'd think it were out of a moving picture. The grass was perfectly manicured, the ornate building constantly free of dirt and age, and the sun seemed to constantly shine down on it.

It visually seemed like a beacon of knowledge. A bright place where bright minds were created. And so with high hopes Elmer stepped inside and asked for assistance from the librarian.

"Hello there." Elmer winked at the librarian who was probably ten years his senior. She smiled at him. "I was wondering what books you have on race and color."

"Race? Well, we have many books. But what do you want to learn about? Manifest Destiny? White Man's Burden? The Aryan Heritage?" The librarian listed a few topics he could select from.

"I was thinking of learning about negroes." Elmer told her, but he questioned whether or not he should continue.

"Negroes?" The librarian seemed perplexed. "Well, what about them?"

"Just about their modern lives. How the negroes of today view society. Maybe some material on how society views them." Elmer suggested. The librarian's face turned white.

"We hold no such books here." She said in a stern voice. "Such propaganda is not tolerated."

"Propaganda? I don't necessarily see it as propaganda. All I'm asking for is a different perspective." Elmer explained.

"What perspective? The colored perspective?" The librarian asked. "This must be because those niggers are attending your school, isn't it?"

Elmer stayed silent.

"Well you tell those niggers to keep their ideas on the West Side." The librarian said at a high level of volume for a quiet library. The rage in her voice echoed, causing some people to look up from their books.

And so Elmer left, he walked outside and looked up at the sun. He wondered why the light that shined on that building wasn't creating bright minds. He wondered why such a beautiful building houses such ugly souls.

After getting back into his car, Elmer got another idea. He drove quite the distance for it. He crossed over to the West Side. At the cusp between the West and the East, the houses were still quaint. They were modest sizes, like many of the houses on the East Side. But still, they had their yards and their trees and their perfectly paved driveways.

But as he got deeper, things began to change. The houses became smaller and smaller, to the point where Elmer wondered how a person could live in it.

The sun hardly seemed to shine on the West Side.

After a long while of driving, he finally found his destination. The West Side library. He could even hardly recognize that it was a library if it wasn't for the words. It was a small and humble building. It wasn't built many years ago like the East Side library, one could imagine this library was thrown up to make sure certain people stayed on the West Side.

Elmer walked in and stood at the librarian's desk. She was busy reading her own book. That is until she looked up to find Elmer standing there.

"Sorry, we aren't planning on donating to Goodwill." She assumed.

"I'm not representing Goodwill." Elmer told her. The library still seemed confused. "I'm here for a book."

"A book?" She whispered under her breath. "Oh! A book. You're here for a book. Right, of course."

Elmer gave her a warm smile.

"Is everything okay at the East Side library?" She asked as she pulled in her seat to get tighter in her desk.

"Everything is fine." Elmer reassured. "It's just that they don't really have the type of books I'm searching for."

"Well, what kind of books are you searching for?" The librarian asked in an ominous tone, assuming the worst.

"Nothing bad. I just wanted to learn more about race. And negroes." Elmer explained. "To see things from your perspective."

The woman stared him down long and hard. She didn't know whether or not she could trust Elmer. Many white people passed through the West Side purely for the reason of starting trouble. And she wanted to be sure he wasn't one of them.

"What makes you want to read about that?" The librarian asked.

"I've got new friends. One in particular and she's really been on my mind. And I said some pretty ignorant things to her. So I wanted to see things the way she sees them." Elmer explained.

"This is about a girl, is it?" The librarian smiled. "Do you have any make colored friends, boy?"

Elmer thought for a moment. "No."

"Well, I suggest you get some. See how you feel after that." The librarian suggested. "As for what you're seeking, we have plenty of books. Just shuffle through them and you'll find something that peaks your interest."

"Thank you." Elmer nodded. He skimmed through many aisles, but he didn't know where to start. He knew that many of the authors were colored, and that could help him. But he didn't know which book to choose.

The He found a group of books by James Baldwin. He's read about him and knew he was respected amongst colored people. And so he picked up a book to look at. When he went to the small sitting area in the library, he got comfy in a seat and began to read.

"Elmer?" He heard a female's voice. When he looked up, it was Francine. "What are you doing on this side of town?"

Elmer didn't know exactly how to answer. "I was just picking up something to read."

"By James Baldwin?" Francine asked. "I wouldn't take you as someone who would want to read that."

"Well maybe I'd surprise you in many ways if you got to know me better." Elmer suggested, but that smooth line didn't work on her. Francine didn't seem to be impressed by the same things girls before her were. That made her all the more difficult to figure out.

Or maybe Elmer never cared to figure out the others in the first place. Maybe Francine was the only girl he cared enough to pursue to the fullest.