All i have been doing for the past week is doing anything i can do to avoid Grayson. I don't want to, but i don't know what to do. i don't want to lose him as one of my bestfriends but i also don't know if i could be around him being just friends. Anytime Novah tells me to get out of bed or leave the house to hang with her and the Dolan's, i just tell her i don't feel well and say my head or tummy hurts. It sucks even more that i feel like i have to lie to her. She's like a sister to me, but i don't know what else i can do. i escape my thoughts when i hear a knock at my door. "not now Novah." i say as the door nob turns. "its just me my love." my mum says calmly. she comes to the side of my bed and sits, while i sit up. "honey whats wrong? are you really not feeling well? youve been in here for days. Did you and Novah get in a fight?" i can tell she seems worried about me. "yeah mum im fine and so are Novah and i. im just not feeling well." i feel bad for just making things up but im not ready. "well if you are feeling better the dolans and us are going on a boat ride. let me know if you change your mind." she says getting up off my bed rubbing my leg. "okay i will. love you mum." i respond as she leaves my room blowing me a kiss. i am so over today.
That afternoon-
"Clara are you seriously not going to come!?" Novahs in my Room trying to make me go out on the boat. "yes im serious." "i dont belive you, did something happen between you and Gray the other night at the fire?" Oh god what if she knows and knows I'm lying to her? "why on earth would you think that?" i say acting like its crazy "Cause Ethan has been saying Gray has been weird lately too, upset with himself over something. Plus just not acting the same when he hangs with us. so cut the shit." I can't "Theres no shit to cut Novah, maybe hes just having a bad week and for some reason im sick. it happens, thats life." i feel so bad for just not telling Novah the truth and that i upset Grayson. "Fine ill go out and have fun, while you sit here in a pile of tissues." she looks at me and we both break out into a giggle as she leaves.
Couple hours later-
Ugh im still laying in bed, walking around the house and going out on the deck trying to distract myself from thinkig about Grayson. but all i can think about are his lips. i am not getting anywhere. i dont want to lose my bestfriend but at the same time it would be so hard to just be friends with him and act like nothing happened and that I didn't feel something when he kissed me. Whatever im done thinking about this i say to myself. i grab some towels and decide to hop in my shower. kinda hoping it takes my mind off things and helps time go by. i get out of the shower i pick out an outfit from my closet. i open it to see Graysons hoodie hanging there, from the other night at the fire. i know i shouldnt but i do anyway. i gab his hoodie and a pair of black spandex nike shorts, throw that on and go to the kitchen to look for something. "ugh theres nothing good." i say out loud to myself. i hear my phone go from my room and go grab it.
2 New Messages from Novah💗
1 New Message from Ethan🌚
3 Missed Calls from Grayson🤍 shit. thats all i could come up with to say. guess i should see whats going on. i head out the door in my room to the deck and sit on the outdoor couch.
Novah💗
youre missing a good time, love you hope youre feeling better
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Thanks:)have a good time love you too💕 I still feel bad for lying to her. I'm so used to telling her everything.
then i go to check my 1 message from Ethan.
Ethan🌚
hey, i was just wondering if you knew what was up with Gray hes been upset lately was just wondering if he had talked to you about anything that he wouldnt have said to me. sad your sick hope you feel better asshole 🥰
No sorry i dont he hasnt said anything to me and thanks asshole🥰🥰 i send the text and then just look at my screen where it says i have 3 missed calls from Gray. i debate if i should call him back or not. i feel like im already losing him. i look down at his sweater im wearing and play with the strings. i stop thinking and just call. i put the phone to my ear with my heart pounding.
"im sorry the person you are trying to call right now is busy, please call again later."
i sit in silence till the phone makes a beeping noise. i take a deep breath leave my phone on my bed charging and go out to the living room to watch tv.
