Broken (Shawn Mendes fan fiction)

Loved? Nope!

I looked at myself. In the mirror, there was a brunette haired girl staring back at me with big brown puffy eyes.

This is the real me, not the smiling girl in the picture that's seated on my drawer. That used to be me until everything cam tumbling down. Personal issues aren't fun if you ask me especially when it's your parents that keep breaking you down when they should be supporting you every step of your life. Guess life's just a bitch.

I close my eyes and memories of yesterday come to mind.

*Flashback*

"Why don't you actually use your brain for once in your life!?" My mom yells.

"I do, it's just that you guys want me to read your minds or something. But guess what? I can't read minds!"

Next thing I know i'm facing my right with a burning feeling on my cheek. I cup my cheek and face my mom with tears brimming, threatning to make themselves be shown.

"Mom..." I whimper.

"That's what you get. And your lucky I don't give you another one or call your dad becuase it would go ten times worse. No do as I said before I change my mind!"

She turns to leave. She stops and turns around to face me.

"You really are useless. Why couldn't you have been born with a good brain? Your sister thinks better than you and she's a baby."

She leaves the room. I slide down the wall and bury my head between my knees. I let the tears stream down my cheeks and look up at my book shelf.

"Why can't my life be like theirs? Why me?" I gasp and sob uncontrollably.

*End of Flashback*

I feel something wet on my cheeks and open my eyes. "Crap." I mutter and wipe the tears away. I sigh and think of how pathetic my life is. Well, at least I can get away from this all at school. I'm free there and actually feel like I belong and feel loved.

Yeah, loved.

I wipe my eyes one last time and gather my stuff for school. I stuff my things in my bookbag and stuff a bunch of snacks as well. Don't wanna starve.

I put on my coat, gloves, hat, and ear buds and head out for school. I put on music to lighten my mood. I've realised how music really does change my mood and makes me feel... better in some way. Born to Die starts playing by The Amity Affliction and immeditely smile. For some reason, I like the cover they did for Lana Del Reye's song.

I get to the train station and wait for the train. Ten minutes later, I get to school and head to first period which is living environment. I walk up the stairs and turn a corner and what is it I see? A perfect view of my crush sitting on the floor waiting for class to start.

Is it bad if I admitt that I like him like that, all alone with no one talking to him? My bad! I keep walking forward and sit against the wall where my class is.

I look down at my phone and on snapchat. I look at my friends story and smile a bit. They always put funny stories worth my time.

"Alex smiling, no way!"

I look up and see my friend Caroline looking down at me. I immediatley smile.

"Well look at this, guess I am." She smiles and takes a seat next to me. "How is you?"

I laugh. This is why I love her. She acts like she's ghetto and does it in a deep voice too making it hialrious.

"I is good. How is you?" I mimic back.

We both laugh and are soon joined by our other friend Sarah.

"Hey!" She says and sits down.

"Hey!" Caroline and I both say.

"I can't believe the semester is almost over. It feels just like yesterday that we had just started school." I say.

"Yeah well time flies fast when your having fun." Caroline says.

"True words of the wise Caroline." Sarah says and laughs. We all laugh.

With them, I feel happy and complete. With these two amazing girls, I feel loved and actually wanted. How did I get so lucky?

"Do you guys know which classes your going to have next semester?" Caroline asks.

"I'm having the same classes." Sarah says.

"Same except I might join the vocal program." I state.

"Really?" Caroline asks.

"Yup" I say

"I didn't know you could sing." Sarah says shocked.

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me." I simply shrug.

"You'll have to sing for us one day." Sarah says.

"Of course." I say.

The bell rings marking the beginning of first period. Sarah and Carolin get up. I strech my arms out to them. "Help me get up?" I ask them. They both pull me up. "Thanks."

"I've been meaning to ask, how's your tailbone?" Caroline asks.

"Much better but still need help getting up as you can see." I force a chuckle.

Sarah nods. "I'd love to stay and chat but I gotta go. If I'm late for lab, I wont be able to see you guys any time soon." Sarah turns around to leave.

"Have fun!" I yell.

Sarah looks back and makes a face. "Doubt it."

I turn to Caroline. "How are you though? How's Danny?"

"He's been better but he's alive. What more can I ask for?" She sighs and runs her hands through her hair.

"I know it's tough but he's strong and he'll get through this as long as he has you." I give her a smile.

"I hope so. I don't think I can see him like that." She shakes her head.

Danny is her father that has recently come back from serving in the army. Ever since he came back, he hasn't been the same towards Caroline or anyone really. It pains to see him like that because he had a bright future as a scientist but gave up that dream to fight for his country. Caroline doesn't really like to talk about it, gets her all sad and serious.

"But how's Blueberry?" She asks.

I sigh. "He's good." I smile a little bit and look at the floor, specifically at my sneakers.

"Ooh, is that a blushing Alex I see?" She teases.

I snort. "Shut up!"

The teacher opens the door and let's us all in. We walk in and head to our seats.

I head to my seat and Caroline heads to the seat on my right. I sigh.

"Is everything ok?" She asks.

"Not really..." I shake my head.

"What's wrong?" She asks.

"You know, the usual." I look down at my hands.

"You shouldn't put up with your mothers bullsh- I mean bull crap."

"But she's my mother. I can't really say anything about it." I say. "Her verbal abuse is way better than my dads physical abuse..." I mutter hoping she didn't hear but at the same time I hope she did.

"What?!" She yells. This causes everyone in the class to look at us including the teacher. I put my head in my hands and sigh. This is going to be a long day.
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