I was on my empty mind, empty world and empty heart..
I was crying for no reasons..
Am I late to realize everything..? Am I late to realize that I love you more than my fake boyfriend..? Am I late?
I hate myself why should we be like this..! I hate myself for letting you go..! I hate myself for hating you..! I hate myself for hurting you! I hate myself because I fall into you! I hate myself for being crazy in love with Kai that I didn't realize my feelings for You!
What if?? What if I told you early that I love you more than my fake boyfriend..? What if I never broke up with you? What if?
Would you love me the way I love you? Would you stay? Would you court me for real? Would we be happy?
But
What if you don't love me? What if you're just helping me? What if?
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Again my phone ring for the 17th time.. I don't want to answer it..
"Jen is that you?" That voice.. I immediately wipe my tears
"What are you doing here..? It's already late.. you should go home now.." I ignored him
"C'mon let me take you home" He added..
"I don't want to go home.. just go home if you want" I said while sniffing
"Is about you and young man or about Kai?" He ask
"Please let me alone for now Jungkook" I said seriously to him.. he sat beside me
"I know it's Liam..right?" I just stay quiet
"Btw Kai trying to move on if you don't know" I turn my head on the other side
" he's trying to move on since you and Liam are together.. he tried Jen.. I know Kai hurts you so much especially Irene but his regretting now.. I can see and feel that his already happy to you and Liam.." He seriously said
"Kai really loves Liam .. he treat him as his younger brother .. that everything Liam's want he will give it to him even though his only girl that he loves..." Then my tears fall again..
"We talk earlier at the clinic .. Kai was crying telling me that he regrets everything what he have done to you and Irene.. He was about to tell you the truth before Liam comeback here at Korea because he knows that Liam was smarter to know everything about him.. he's afraid to tell you everything before because he really loves you that much that's why he lied to you.. he wants you to comeback to him and he will make those wrong things rights.... but it's too late because you don't want him back into your life.. he tried to talk to Irene but Irene avoiding him .. Kai was depressed for almost 1 year .. I saw everything because I was there when he was tired, happy, sad and depressed.. He have done a lot of mistakes but he regrets all of that.." He said
"But now you need to go home.. Liam will be mad at me if I don't take you home.." he extended his hand .. I look at him with teary eyes.. If you know the reality about us Jungkook... but you don't know..
"You think Liam loves me?" I ask
"Ofc I know him very well" He smiled.. I take his hand to stand and we both go to his car..
The surrounding was quiet ... I was looking outside the car window while thinking what Jungkook said to me earlier about Kai.. did he really regret it?? and did Liam really loves me..?
"We're here.." I fake smiled at him when he open the car door for me..
"Jennie..!" I heard my mom shout and they both approached me with dad
"I was calling you many times why are you not answering?" My mom said .. she look so tired and stress..
"I'm sorry mom" I said
"Hello uncle .. auntie" Jungkook greeted them
"I need to go .. please make sure that Jennie stay in your house tonight" Jungkook said then my parents thank him ..
"Jen?" My dad call me.. I was looking at the ground ..
"Honey you okay?" My mom asked me
"The girl that he really loves came back" I said and my tears fall down
"He's happy now mom.. I saw them kissing earlier.. I saw them smiling at each other.." I burst out crying..
"Hone--y" My mom hug me
"It's hurt.. It's hurt to letting him go even we're just fake dating" I said while hugging my mom tight..
"Did you love him?" My dad ask
"Yes for real but it's all done" I said
"Are you not going to fight for your feelings?" My dad ask me .. I look at him serious
"Why would I.. if I'm not the one he really loves" I said and my dad just nodded..
"Let's go inside I know your tired" My dad said.. I nodded
"Just cry until you get ready" I don't know what's dad going to say.. My mind is empty right now..
